BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis, and we're playing this week with Aparna Nancherla, Peter Grosz and Amy Dickinson. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill saves rhyme in a bottle in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Amy, the prime minister of New Zealand is currently weathering a major political scandal. This week, he had to publicly apologize to a local barista there in Wilmington, New Zealand, for doing what?
AMY DICKINSON: Yanking on her ponytail.
SAGAL: That's right.
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SAGAL: Every day almost for a year, he did this.
SAGAL: According to a blog post written by the barista in question, every time New Zealand Minister John Key came into her coffee shop, he pulled on her ponytail at least once, if not multiple times. It's an odd bit of behavior until you remember that while Britain shipped its murderers and thieves to Australia, New Zealand got the misbehaving third-graders.
PETER GROSZ: Well, also, that guy, to be fair, he ran on that platform. He said I will tug...
APARNA NANCHERLA: (Laughter) Of ponytail yanking?
GROSZ: ...the ponytails of baristas or (imitating New Zealand accent) I will tug the ponytails.
NANCHERLA: Yeah. And to be fair, the barista wrote his name wrong on the cup...
GROSZ: Oh yeah.
NANCHERLA: ...every day of the year. It was like cream Premonister (ph). It's like, come on.
SAGAL: Peter, the little black dress...
SAGAL: ...You know, it's a miniskirt maybe - this year we're told the must-have accessory that everyone must have is what?
GROSZ: You have to have a wig.
GROSZ: No, you have to have...
DICKINSON: Whoa, wow.
SAGAL: It's not crazy.
GROSZ: No, it's not insane. You have to have a...
SAGAL: Be careful. Don't go all the way till you get to mutton chops, ladies.
SAGAL: Sideburns, yes.
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SAGAL: Yeah, sideburns for women.
GROSZ: I was going to say mustache because I have one right now.
GROSZ: I didn't want to be rude...
DICKINSON: Wait a minute, sideburns?
SAGAL: Sideburns - not so much they're not growing cheek hair. That's somewhat difficult for most women, but they're sort of cutting...
DICKINSON: Not me.
SAGAL: ...Their hair...
SAGAL: ...To look like they have sideburns coming down the sides of their face. If this year's runways are to be believed, sideburns are all the rage. And so...
DICKINSON: Are you sure they're not talking about side boob? That's kind of a thing...
SAGAL: No, they're definitely...
SAGAL: I don't know much about fashion, but I think I can tell the difference between those two things.
SAGAL: Women used to ask their hairstylist for the Rachel. Now they are requesting the Martin Van Buren.
SAGAL: Amy, the Wall Street Journal reported this week that China's Ministry of culture has identified a problem in modern Chinese funeral rituals. They're working with police to cut down on funerals featuring what?
DICKINSON: Oh, those Colombian prostitutes again?
SAGAL: So close.
SAGAL: The funeral possessions they have - this is literally true - they have a flatbed truck with a pole in it.
DICKINSON: Oh, pole dancers?
SAGAL: Yes, thank you.
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SAGAL: There's no rule that says funerals have to be somber and sad. Why can't they be horribly tawdry? In the eastern Chinese province of Jiangsu, it's customary to hire strippers because they attract a crowd. I don't know why people want crowds for their funerals, but they get them. Plus, there's something life-affirming watching someone work that poll while the congregation sings "The Wind Beneath My Wings."
DICKINSON: Oh, on a moving truck? That sounds dangerous.
GROSZ: So like in America, there's, like, a police car in front of...
GROSZ: ...The line of cars. But there, it's like a flatbed truck where somebody...
NANCHERLA: (Laughter) Yeah.
DICKINSON: I would not pole dance on a moving flatbed truck. I'm just saying.
GROSZ: You know what? You said that last week, to be fair.
SAGAL: As sad as today is, at least we finally found a way to get our dear departed grandpa to obey the no touching rule.
DICKINSON: Oh my God.
SAGAL: You better believing his hands are standing right by his sides this time.
SAGAL: Before he died - this is true - one man asked his friends in his coffin to put a little hole so he could watch the stripper from beyond.
DICKINSON: You know, they should really...
GROSZ: He said not knowing how death works.
DICKINSON: That's right.
SAGAL: Peter, some good news - kids are getting in a lot fewer fights on the playground than they used to, suffering far fewer injuries. And there's a reason. What is it?
GROSZ: They are scaredy cats.
SAGAL: No, it's not that.
GROSZ: They're not going outside as often.
SAGAL: That's exactly right.
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SAGAL: Children today spend most of their time indoors in front of screens or if they're home-schooled, staring bleakly out the window. Unfortunately...
SAGAL: This means they're missing out on that important rite of passage - getting beat up at the playground. According to a survey by Cardiff University in Wales, hospital emergency rooms have experienced a sharp drop in kids coming in for stitches and arm casts. Instead, doctors are having to make house calls to treat cave blindness...
SAGAL: ...And help parents flip their enormous children over to prevent bed sores.
DICKINSON: (Laughter) Oh my God.
GROSZ: My son has - has Wii thumb.
DICKINSON: Wii thumb.
GROSZ: He's got Wii thumb. It's like tennis elbow.
DICKINSON: What they're saying is, you know, the seesaw incident - like, every kid on the seesaw...
GROSZ: I don't think we do.
DICKINSON: ...Has always been - like, I was always the - because I'm small, I was always the kid up in the air. And then somebody would go like hey, Betsy, come here, look at this. And she would just leave and I'd go crashing down. Like, everybody...
SAGAL: Oh, I see, the person who was holding you up in the air would get off the seesaw.
DICKINSON: They'd just get off. It's like...
GROSZ: I don't think that was you. That was Charlie Brown.
DICKINSON: That happened to me, like, every single day.
GROSZ: But you should've learned...
NANCHERLA: Not to do it.
GROSZ: ...After like the first week.
DICKINSON: I know.
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