OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
Please welcome back our very important puzzler Anna Chlumsky.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: Anna, your game is called Veep Of The Rings.
ANNA CHLUMSKY: (Gasping).
EISENBERG: Yes. It's a quiz about "Lord Of The Rings." And just like Frodo had Samwise to help him on his quest, you brought along Michelle, your friend...
CHLUMSKY: Yes.
MICHELLE WIEMANN: Hello.
CHLUMSKY: You're my Samwise.
EISENBERG: ...Who's going to help you.
(LAUGHTER)
CHLUMSKY: You're my Samwise. OK.
WIEMANN: I am.
EISENBERG: OK, good.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: Said that interestingly.
WIEMANN: I know.
EISENBERG: OK.
(LAUGHTER)
WIEMANN: Watched all of them yesterday.
EISENBERG: You (laughter)...
CHLUMSKY: We've been boning up, but we'll see how futile that may have been.
EISENBERG: How did you become a big "Lord Of The Rings" fan, Anna?
CHLUMSKY: Well, originally - I mean, it was my dad's fault. It was always just kind of part of the Chlumsky mythology. And then, I think, when I was 13, I was allowed to read "The Hobbit," and then I picked up "Lord Of The Rings" through high school and college. So - and I'm - you know, the science fiction, fantasy stuff - it's all...
EISENBERG: Right. You worked in that briefly at HarperCollins.
CHLUMSKY: Yes, yes.
EISENBERG: You were editing that, so...
CHLUMSKY: I think my interest in "Lord Of The Rings" is what helped me get that job, too - yeah.
EISENBERG: Did you have a "Lord Of The Rings" poster in your...
CHLUMSKY: Yeah.
EISENBERG: You did, in your office?
CHLUMSKY: Well, yeah, in my office - yeah. I decorated my office as if it was like a teenage bedroom. I was really professional. But, like, I had a big Wolverine poster...
EISENBERG: Nice.
CHLUMSKY: ...And "The Princess Bride" poster. And then I had every character from "Lord Of The Rings," but it was, you know, kind of, like, in a long - I don't know, like...
EISENBERG: Like a timeline or something?
CHLUMSKY: ...Like a slide rule - yeah. I mean, I had that, like, over - you know, as a border, like a wallpaper border (laughter). It's just so awful.
EISENBERG: All right, well, this is perfect for you.
CHLUMSKY: Oh, God. We'll see.
EISENBERG: If you guys get enough right, you'll win an ASK ME ANOTHER prize.
CHLUMSKY: (Gasping).
EISENBERG: OK. Here we go. According to biographers, a Swiss postcard depicting a bearded figure with a wide-brim hat sitting on a rock and talking to a fawn was the inspiration for what major character?
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
CHLUMSKY: Gandalf.
EISENBERG: Yeah, Gandalf. Yes, exactly.
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EISENBERG: You knew that little tidbit?
CHLUMSKY: Well, I didn't know that tidbit, but I put it together.
JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: (Laughter).
EISENBERG: Very good. This one is amazing. In the 1960s, which of these popular bands wanted to make a "Lord Of The Rings" movie starring themselves and directed by Stanley Kubrick? Was it A - The Beatles, B - The Doors or C - The Beach Boys?
CHLUMSKY: I don't know. That's - this is a total guess.
EISENBERG: You want it to be all of them, right?
CHLUMSKY: Yeah, yeah.
WIEMANN: Samwise doesn't know.
CHLUMSKY: (Laughter).
EISENBERG: Samwise's not sure.
CHLUMSKY: Tom Bombadil. We decided that that would be our go-to if we didn't know.
EISENBERG: (Laughter).
CHLUMSKY: It would be a - Tom Bombadil would be our answer.
(LAUGHTER)
CHLUMSKY: I'm going to - The Doors did a lot of drugs. Well, so did The Beach Boys. So did The Beatles. They all did drugs.
EISENBERG: Yep.
(LAUGHTER)
CHLUMSKY: I'm going to say, The Doors.
EISENBERG: I think that's a great guess.
CHLUMSKY: Aw.
WIEMANN: Oh.
EISENBERG: However, The Beatles.
CHLUMSKY: Yeah.
EISENBERG: Yep.
CHLUMSKY: All right.
EISENBERG: Paul was going to be Frodo.
CHLUMSKY: Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: Ringo was going to be Sam.
CHLUMSKY: All right.
EISENBERG: George would've been Gandalf.
(LAUGHTER)
CHLUMSKY: Well, he was always searching.
EISENBERG: And guess who John would be?
CHLUMSKY: Gollum?
EISENBERG: Gollum.
(LAUGHTER)
CHLUMSKY: For real? Yeah, I'm glad that didn't happen.
(LAUGHTER)
CHLUMSKY: I have to say.
EISENBERG: All right. When Tolkien was a professor at Oxford, he had a close-but-sometime-contentious friendship with C.S. Lewis...
CHLUMSKY: Oh, yeah (laughter).
EISENBERG: ...The author of "The Chronicles Of Narnia." What character did Tolkien base off of Lewis's mannerisms, including his booming voice and his constant throat clearing?
CHLUMSKY: Gimli, yeah?
EISENBERG: No.
(LAUGHTER)
EISENBERG: Sorry. You guys got so excited but no.
CHLUMSKY: Is it Gollum 'cause of (coughing)?
EISENBERG: Oh, because of the throat clearing?
CHLUMSKY: Yeah, which is actually written, like, in the books as such.
EISENBERG: So maybe more than one?
CHLUMSKY: He had a lot of people with chest congestion, I guess.
EISENBERG: Exactly, right?
COULTON: The book is basically about phlegm.
(LAUGHTER)
CHLUMSKY: It's a phlegmy - they're phlegmy novels.
COULTON: Pretty phlegmy book.
EISENBERG: Is it phlegm-ship of the rings?
CHLUMSKY: Oh, that's great.
EISENBERG: The character's motto is don't be hasty. Do not be hasty.
CHLUMSKY: Oh, oh, OK. Treebeard.
EISENBERG: Oh, yes, Treebeard. Yes, exactly. That is supposed to be C.S. Lewis.
(APPLAUSE)
CHLUMSKY: Really?
EISENBERG: Now, hobbits like to eat a lot.
CHLUMSKY: Yes.
EISENBERG: Six or seven meals a day depending on whether you count dinner and supper as the same meal. What is the meal that falls in between second breakfast and lunch?
CHLUMSKY: Elevenses?
EISENBERG: Yes, exactly.
(APPLAUSE)
WIEMANN: You don't need me.
EISENBERG: Right?
CHLUMSKY: I know, but you're moral support.
WIEMANN: She didn't need me. I don't know why I'm here.
CHLUMSKY: No, it's wonderful. You're validating every instinct I have.
WIEMANN: I'll nod.
EISENBERG: All right, guess what? This is your last question.
CHLUMSKY: Oh (laughter) I was enjoying myself. OK.
EISENBERG: In the 2013 film "The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug," what late-night funnyman has a cameo as a spy in the village of Lake-town?
CHLUMSKY: Late-night funnyman - is it Craig Ferguson?
EISENBERG: Huge "Lord Of The Rings" fan - no.
CHLUMSKY: No - oh, wait. Oh, you said - Colbert? No. Is he in it?
WIEMANN: Colbert? Is it Colbert?
EISENBERG: Yes, Stephen Colbert is in the movie.
CHLUMSKY: No way. Good for him.
EISENBERG: (Laughter).
CHLUMSKY: That's wonderful.
EISENBERG: He finally got a part on something.
CHLUMSKY: But that's - yes. No, but that's, like, if it's his dream, then he got - then he - you know...
EISENBERG: Totally.
CHLUMSKY: ...Oprah would say, dream bigger 'cause he hasn't. He's gotten his dream now.
EISENBERG: Yes.
CHLUMSKY: Anyway.
EISENBERG: That is correct.
CHLUMSKY: That's fantastic.
EISENBERG: All right, you did amazing.
CHLUMSKY: Thank you.
EISENBERG: So you guys won.
CHLUMSKY: Yay.
EISENBERG: Congratulations.
(APPLAUSE)
EISENBERG: We're going to give you both anagram T-shirts, but clearly you do know your "Lord Of The Rings" very well. Michelle, you did a great job of acting as backup.
WIEMANN: Thank you.
EISENBERG: Thank you so much, Michelle. Thank you so much, Anna Chlumsky.
CHLUMSKY: Thank you.
(APPLAUSE)
COULTON: (Singing) Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller. Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller. Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller. Marilyn Monroe didn't marry Henry Miller. If she did, he'd have taken her to Paris. And if she did, she'd have smoked a lot of opium. And if she did, she'd have died her hair blue. And if she did, she might be alive, oh. Henry Miller. Oh, Marilyn Monroe. Oh, Henry Miller. Oh, Marilyn Monroe.
(APPLAUSE)
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