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This a story of the distance between hope and reality. The reality is that any given kid has an incredibly small chance to become a professional athlete. Many parents think otherwise about their kids. Twenty-six percent of U.S. parents whose high school-aged child plays sports hope the child will become a pro athlete. That is according to a poll by NPR News, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health. Among lower income families, the hope runs even higher. Having big dreams for your kid can be good but can also cause problems. Anders Kelto reports.
ANDERS KELTO, BYLINE: I'm in the car with a guy named J.R. Gamble. He's a sports writer based in Queens, N.Y. We're heading to his son's baseball game on Long Island, and on the way, he tells me that his son, J.C., is quite the ballplayer.
J.R. GAMBLE: You know, I have a lot of clips and highlights that I show people of him and my team and him doing amazing things - jumping over catches, hitting balls right-handed, hitting balls left-handed 'cause he's a switch-hitter.
KELTO: Gamble says part of the reason his son is so good at baseball is that he started when he was young - very young.
GAMBLE: You know, as soon as he was about 14, 15 months, I put a golf ball in his hand, you know, to let him know how a baseball would feel when he got older just so he'd get the feel of it and watched sports with him.
KELTO: And since then, Gamble says he spent quite a bit of money on baseball - bats and gloves, league fees, hotels, gas. But it might be paying off because several people have told Gamble that his son looks like pro material. And he has high hopes.
GAMBLE: Yeah, we'd - I'd love to see him go pro. I'd love it. I'd be at every game. I'd quit whatever I'm doing. I'd just go be at every game.
KELTO: We stopped to pick up his son, and I'm expecting a teenage Derek Jeter, you know, tall, muscular. So I'm pretty surprised when Gamble introduces his son.
GAMBLE: Little Legend J.C. Gamble.
KELTO: Little Legend?
J.C.: Yes, J.C. Gamble.
KELTO: Nice to meet you, buddy.
J.C.: You too.
KELTO: J.C. is 9 years old. He's wearing a crisp, white baseball uniform and a blue cap with a D for his team, the Brooklyn Dukes. I ask him how he got the name Little Legend.
J.C.: Well, my dad gave it to me when I was about 3 years old. And when I got my first hit, he just started calling me Little Legend.
KELTO: Is that true?
GAMBLE: Yeah, pretty much. I had to make sure he was the goods first. I didn't just name him before I saw that he was pretty good.
KELTO: And now Little Legend has his baseball future all mapped out.
J.C.: I'm going to go to Stanford, get a scholarship and go to the New York Yankees in the MLB draft.
KELTO: His dad says that all sounds fine, but he'd better keep hitting the books. There are many parents like Gamble who share their child's dream of becoming a pro. But then there are parents who take things to extremes. Tom Farrey is a reporter with ESPN and the director of the Sports and Society Program at the Aspen Institute. He says more and more parents these days are pushing their kids hard.
TOM FARREY: You know, get them on the travel teams and put them with the private coaches and have them play year-round and basically feed these kids sports with a fire hose at a very early age.
KELTO: He says some parents do this because they think, hey, that's how kids get an athletic scholarship or become a pro. And there are some famous examples of this. Andre Agassi, Serena Williams, Tiger Woods, they were all groomed for success basically from the time they could walk. But for the vast majority of pro athletes, Farrey says...
FARREY: That's not their pathway. They played multiple sports when they were young. It was not about chasing a college scholarship or becoming a pro. And this wasn't front and center in their psychology at age 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years old. They were just enjoying the games and falling in love with sports.
KELTO: And it's that love for sports, he says, that drives kids to keep playing and to become successful. It's not just their parents' hopes. Parents who are too gung-ho sometimes create problems, says Dr. David Conant-Norville. He's a child psychiatrist with the International Society of Sports Psychiatry. He says about 20 years ago, doctors noticed something - more and more parents were obsessing over their kids' athletic careers.
DAVID CONANT-NORVILLE: They would spend all of the family's money. They'd spend all of the family's time. They would ignore all the other children. They would ignore school just to push children to be successful.
KELTO: Doctors developed a name for this extreme behavior - achievement by proxy distortion. The idea is that if the kids are successful, the parents feel successful - achievement by proxy. But Conant-Norville says the behavior can be harmful to children.
CONANT-NORVILLE: It really leads to a lot of anxiety, a lot of depression, a lot of family discord and traumatic childhood experiences.
KELTO: One person who has seen this firsthand is Cobi Jones. He's a former professional soccer player who completed in the Olympics and three World Cups. Growing up in California, Jones had a close friend whose father was extremely overbearing, and it made his friend's life pretty miserable.
COBI JONES: It was very difficult on my friend. I mean, I can't tell you how many times we would just be sitting and talking and he would not have very many nice things to say about his father.
KELTO: Jones is now an ambassador for U.S. soccer, and he's made it something of a mission to help parents put pro sports in perspective.
JONES: It's a great goal to have where you want your kid to be a Division I athlete or you want your kid to be a professional player. But I think it needs to be tempered with a sense of understanding that most likely your kid is not going to be a professional player.
KELTO: And Jones is taking his own advice. He's the father of two young boys, and he's careful not to pressure them into following his footsteps.
JONES: If you came into my house, you'd see that I don't have soccer stuff up in my house at all. I don't want this to be something where they have to look at, oh, that dad did this every day, dad did that.
KELTO: Because to him, it doesn't matter if his kids become great soccer players. He just wants them to love sports and to benefit from being part of a team. For NPR News, I'm Anders Kelto.
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