Who's Bill This Time Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news: She's A Survivor; The Softer Side of Politics; Early Man Cave.

Who's Bill This Time

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BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. Anchor - I hardly know her. I'm Bill Kurtis.


KURTIS: And here's your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.


Thank you, Bill.


SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. We have got - oh, I'm so excited about the show today. One of the best things about my job is I get to interview my childhood heroes. And that is literally true today 'cause we're going to talk to the great Frank Oz. Now, Frank Oz...


SAGAL: If you don't know this, you should. He helped create the Muppets. And you would not believe how many characters he's performed over the years - Bert from Bert and Ernie, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear is his, the Cookie Monster.

KURTIS: Grover, Yoda, that guy from Coldplay.

SAGAL: Vice President Walter Mondale, Ozzy Osbourne and, of course, the governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal.


SAGAL: We don't care who's pulling your strings. Give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Now, let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

CHARLIE WOLFE: Hello, Peter. This is Charlie Wolfe from St. Claire Shores, Mich. How are you?

SAGAL: I'm fine. Is St. Claire Shores on the shore of something?

WOLFE: It is. It's on the shore of Lake St. Claire. So, like, St. Claire then Lake St. Claire, it all makes sense.


WOLFE: Don't think about it too hard.

SAGAL: I won't think about it. I've never heard of Lake St. Claire. Is it a big...

WOLFE: It's actually not really a lake. It's just a widening of the Detroit River, but don't tell the lake that.

SAGAL: I won't.


SAGAL: Let me introduce you to our panel this week, Charles. First up, a contributor to "CBS Sunday Morning" and the host of "Science Goes To The Movies" at cuny.tv, it's Faith Salie.

FAITH SALIE: Hi, Charlie.

WOLFE: Hello.


SAGAL: Next, it's a feature writer for The Washington Post Style section. It's Roxanne Roberts.


WOLFE: Hello.

SAGAL: And a comedian performing October 10 at the Keswick Theatre and Glenside, Penn., Paula Poundstone is here.


PAULA POUNDSTONE: You know, originally, Lake St. Claire was called river goiter.



SAGAL: Charles, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time. Bill Kurtis, of course, is going to re-create for you, out of thin air, three quotations from the week's news. Your job, of course, identify or explain two of them. Do that, you'll win our prize - the voice of scorekeeper emeritus Carl Kasell in your voice mail. Are you ready to do this?

WOLFE: I am as prepared as I've ever been.

SAGAL: Here is your first quote.


KURTIS: It's the eye of the tiger. It's the thrill of the fight.

SAGAL: That was the song played at a big rally on Tuesday...


SAGAL: ...Celebrating whose release from prison?

WOLFE: Oh, what was the name - Kim?

SAGAL: Kim Davis. This humble county clerk from rural Kentucky has become a folk hero to Americans everywhere, a role model for those Americans looking for someone to stand up for the right not to do our jobs.


SAGAL: Because of Kim Davis - because of her example - some bus driver today will finally cruise right through a crosswalk without looking and a fireman will turn off the alarm bell and go back to playing "Candy Crush."


SAGAL: Thank you, Kim Davis.

POUNDSTONE: Do they usually play a song when you're released from jail?


SAGAL: That's - happily, I wouldn't know.

POUNDSTONE: I'm going to have to think of a song.

SAGAL: Yeah.


POUNDSTONE: Ted Cruz said that he stood unequivocally behind her while she was in jail. And I thought what if that were true?


POUNDSTONE: Mike Huckabee was smart enough to wait until she was out of jail to say that he would go to jail in her place.

SAGAL: Yes, he did do that.

POUNDSTONE: I thought that was clever timing.

SAGAL: Yeah.


SAGAL: You know what's interesting is that Kim Davis, of course, went to jail because she refused to honor the marriage of gay people. She came out. She'd really changed her mind about gay people due to her long conversations with her cell mate, Crazy Eyes.


SAGAL: All right, very good, Charles. Here is your next quote. It happens to be from President Bill Clinton.

KURTIS: She looks good with her whip skills, but needs work with her nae nae.

SAGAL: That was Mr. Clinton pitching in in a campaign-wide effort to make who look more human?

WOLFE: Oh, God. Hillary Clinton?

SAGAL: Yes, Hillary Clinton. How did you know?

WOLFE: That came off the mouth kind of wrong.

SAGAL: Meet Hillary 2.0, with improved bandwidth, a special feelings module, a sincerity mode and a bright new frontal screen. According to The New York Times, her campaign is making a concerted effort to show her human side. They have a nine-point plan for spontaneity with daily scheduled moments of being unscheduled.

POUNDSTONE: If you want to see a human side of her, look at her emails.


SAGAL: You mean, like, the one where she asked, like, what's up with the gefilte fish?

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, exactly. That's human.

SALIE: She did say she was sorry this week, right?

SAGAL: She did say she was sorry.

SALIE: And I - she's a Clinton. I don't think she should have. I think she should've said, I did not have technical relations with that server.

SAGAL: Yeah.


SAGAL: She went on "Ellen" this week - Ellen's show. She danced.


SAGAL: It's like...


POUNDSTONE: And why is everyone doing that now? Why does everyone go on these shows and dance?

SALIE: Because...

POUNDSTONE: How does that move us forward as a nation?

SALIE: No, no, because...

SAGAL: Oh, look, she's doing the robot. No, actually she's trying really hard not to.


SAGAL: All right, Charles, here is your last quote.

WOLFE: All right, I'm ready.

KURTIS: It's a Mr. Potato Head disaster.

SAGAL: That was a paleoanthropologist named Lee Berger. He was talking about sorting out the big scrambled pile of bones his team found, a pile of bones that turned out to be what?

WOLFE: Oh, so I actually was an anthropology major in college so I know this one. The Homo nadeli, I think it was? It was, like, a off-branch of the humans. They found, like, a mass grave.

SAGAL: That's right, except you mispronounced the name of the species, so I'm afraid you're going to have to go. No, I'm kidding. You are, of course, right. It's a brand-new species of homonid or homonym, depending how you want to call it. The species is called Homo naledi. They were found in a remote cave in South Africa. And this is really interesting. All these bones were found in the cave so remote, so hard to get to, down a narrow tunnel, that the paleontologist who discovered it knew he wouldn't fit. So he advertised in Facebook - this is true - skinny scientists needed. And it turns out these six scientists who were able to do the job and fit, literally, through the hole were women. They were the only ones small enough and qualified enough. So they got to crawl down these incredibly narrow, dark, wet tunnels.

SALIE: It was seven-and-a-half inches, the crack.

SAGAL: Right - into a horrible dank chamber filled with skeletons. And who said women can't get the good jobs in science?


POUNDSTONE: Seven-and-a-half inches.


SALIE: The crack was seven-and-a-half inches.

SAGAL: And they were able to - they have these - there's a picture of these very tiny, bright anthropologists.

ROBERTS: Malnourished anthropologists.


SAGAL: I know.


SALIE: I get so excited because I was watching this story when it first came out on the elliptical machine, as I consume most of my media. And I had closed captioning on CNN, and it said they had discovered Homo Milady (ph). The closed captioning person spelled it wrong and it was spelled milady. And I was like, that's so cool. It's like a "Game Of Thrones" discovery.

SAGAL: It was a little rough for Kim Davis, when you think about it. She got out of prison just to hear the news about Homo naledi. Not only is the Earth more than 6,000 years old, but it was full of a bunch of homos.


SAGAL: So the scientists sort of - they found all these bones, they didn't know what it was. And as soon as they assembled it, it announced for the Democratic nomination and is now beating Hillary in Iowa by four points. So...

POUNDSTONE: So you think the terrain was always that way? Do they think something shifted?

SAGAL: They believe that the cave - you know, they've looked at it, they've looked at the geology. They think the cave has always been that remote and that the bodies were put there. And they say they've eliminated all the other possibilities of how they could've been brought there. An animal didn't bring them there 'cause the bones aren't marked with teeth.

POUNDSTONE: Tupperware party.


SALIE: That'll kill you.


SAGAL: They did find a bunch of Tupperware with mismatched lids, which is...

POUNDSTONE: That bothers my OCD so much.

SALIE: What, mismatched lids?

POUNDSTONE: The whole mismatched lid thing. My whole life is spent trying to find the right lid for - I don't even - I don't use my dishwasher. I use - the top rack is just for lids and the bottom rack is for the containers. We never - we wash dishes in the sink. But just - we keep those things in there to try to organize it and it still doesn't work.


POUNDSTONE: 'Cause every time I go in there, there's more containers than there are lids. And then you put the stir-fry into the container and then you realize there's no [expletive] lid for it.


POUNDSTONE: If somebody told me, crawl for 21 days down this hole and there will be a lid, I would do it.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Charles do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Charles is the only sane one among us. Charles did great - 3 and 0, perfect.


SAGAL: Congratulations, Charles. Your preparation paid off.

WOLFE: Thank you, sir.

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