Who's Bill This Time Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news... Running From Office, Carolina Blues, Solid Golden.
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Who's Bill This Time

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Who's Bill This Time

Who's Bill This Time

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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. Hey Milwaukee, I'm taking you on a trip to Billwaukee. I'm Bill Kurtis.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: And here is your host at the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee, Wis., Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Hey.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you so much, Bill, and thanks everybody. It is so great to be back in Milwaukee, the city that made beer famous.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's true - no, before Milwaukee, at football tailgates, early Americans all drink wine.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But speaking of beer and sporting events, later on we're going to be talking to Matt Kenseth. He's a Wisconsin native who's become a champion NASCAR driver. It was hard for him to get from here to North Carolina, where he lives, until the day he realized he should just stop turning left and go straight.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: We'd love to hear you try to win our cup, which is Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. It is time to welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

ELLEN MULASKI: Hi, this is Ellen Mulaski from Washington, D.C.

SAGAL: Hey Ellen, how are things in Washington?

MULASKI: They are good, they're good.

SAGAL: Oh, good. Now, what do you do there?

MULASKI: I'm a tour guide.

SAGAL: You're a tour guide?

MULASKI: I'm a tour guide, yes. I show...

SAGAL: Where do you give tours?

MULASKI: All around the city. I show eighth-graders, international people, families...

SAGAL: Really? So...

MULASKI: All around our great city.

SAGAL: ...Like - you're saying, like, here's an eighth grader and here's some international people.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Over there is a family.

MULASKI: And there's a tree.

SAGAL: And there's a tree...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So can I ask a question? What is the dumbest thing that anyone has ever asked you on a tour?

MULASKI: Probably where the Statue of Liberty is.

SAGAL: That's a pretty dumb question.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Welcome, Ellen to our show. Let me introduce you to our panel this day. First up, it's a correspondent for "CBS Sunday Morning" and the host of this year's National Geographic Bee, airing May 27 on the National Geographic Channel. It's Mo Rocca.

(APPLAUSE)

MO ROCCA: Hi Ellen.

MULASKI: Hi Mo.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Next, it's a features writer for The Washington Post. It's Roxanne Roberts.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Hello.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Finally, it's the man behind the podcast Too Beautiful To Live and the host of LiveWire Radio. It's Luke Burbank.

(APPLAUSE, BOOING)

LUKE BURBANK: Hi Ellen.

MULASKI: Hi.

BURBANK: Ellen, they're only booing because they've heard me on the show before.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Ellen, you're going to start us off with Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis is going to read for you three quotations from the week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize - scorekeeper emeritus Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail - or wherever you want to put it, frankly. You ready to play?

(LAUGHTER)

MULASKI: Sure.

SAGAL: Here is your first quote.

KURTIS: "Count me out."

SAGAL: That was somebody saying no way, no how is he going to be the Republican nominee for president. Who was it?

MULASKI: Paul Ryan.

SAGAL: Yes, it was...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Paul Ryan.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Oh, they're applauding the hometown boy. On Tuesday, Paul Ryan ruled out any chance that he would accept the Republican nomination at a contested convention using the time-honored line it's not me, it's you. You guys are nuts.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It is amazing to think about - we started with 19 Republican candidates. And they were hailed as the best field for the GOP in decades. And now it is down to most likely Donald Trump. It's as if at the end of a season of "The Bachelorette..."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...The girl just forgets all the handsome guys she started with and hands the rose to a rabid possum.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: I like the idea of Paul Ryan trying to play it cool with this sort of amorous affection from the GOP establishment. Like, he's showing his friends texts from the GOP establishment.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: What do you think they mean by this?

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: Should I call them back? No, no, no - wait, like, three days.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

BURBANK: Don't seem desperate.

ROCCA: And then the establishment will swipe right eventually.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Although he is kind of an inspiration. When he made - he stood up, he called a press conference. It was covered on live TV, and he made this speech about how he simply wasn't going to intervene in this election. It's really inspirational. There are kids now who are looking in the mirror and saying someday I will grow up to refuse to be president.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Ellen, all right, here is your next quote.

KURTIS: "I can't decide whether to boycott the state or go there and put on the gayest comedy show they have ever seen."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That was comedian George Wallace. He was one of many people considering a boycott of what state?

MULASKI: North Carolina.

SAGAL: North Carolina indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: North Carolina is dealing with a backlash from passing their new bathroom law that requires trans people to use the public restroom according to the sex they were born with. Before this, the only bathroom law anybody knew about was don't ever talk to the guy at the next urinal.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But there's a backlash. Companies with plants in the state are pulling out, which ironically is the only kind of birth control allowed under the law.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

ROCCA: North - I hate North Carolina's acting all straight now, come on.

SAGAL: (Laughter).

ROCCA: No, but - I mean, like - and I loved him, but have they forgotten Gomer Pyle?

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: He was a very gay character.

SAGAL: He was.

ROCCA: I mean, my goodness - it was like "Gayberry R.F.D."

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: And now their act - this has become - this is a defensive thing. They're having a gay panic, the state.

SAGAL: They are.

ROCCA: Yeah.

SAGAL: Do you think they're going to realize - they're going to get through that phase and realize that they themselves...

ROCCA: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...Are kind of gay?

ROCCA: They are going to so end up making out with South Carolina before this is over.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There's always been a weird kind of thing going on there.

ROCCA: Well, look at how they're shaped.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BURBANK: Is it possible that there is - there's so much confusion around this because they only recently got indoor bathrooms...

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: ...And there's still a lot being worked out?

(APPLAUSE)

BURBANK: I'm just thinking out loud here.

SAGAL: I understand that.

ROBERTS: (Laughter).

SAGAL: This is...

ROCCA: Wait, do we broadcast in North Carolina?

BURBANK: Not anymore.

SAGAL: Not anymore.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Did once - all right, Ellen, your last quote is from the NBA's Andre Iguodala.

KURTIS: "I don't think Michael Jordan cares."

SAGAL: So Mr. Iguodala was speculating that Michael Jordan probably did not care that his team-win record was broken by whom this week?

MULASKI: The Golden State Warriors.

SAGAL: Yes, the Golden State Warriors.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Steph Curry, their star, led the Golden State Warriors to victory over the Memphis Grizzlies, setting the NBA record for most wins in a season. Curry celebrated by pouring champagne directly into his mouth from 40 feet away.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The record was previously held by Michael Jordan's '95-'96 Chicago Bulls, prompting sports journalists to speculate which team would win in a best-of-seven series if they played today, which led others to speculate how much time sports journalist waste speculating.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: It's so exciting to watch the Golden State Warriors play because it's remarkable that a 9-year-old boy could lead an NBA championship team, which is what Steph Curry appears to be.

SAGAL: He does - he's very - he is, he looks very young. He's short, he's skinny...

ROCCA: And he's got a retainer.

SAGAL: And he wears - he looks like he's wearing a retainer.

ROCCA: Well, no, and I'm always afraid he's going to choke on that because he's taking it and out while he's scoring.

SAGAL: Well, this is the thing, Steph Curry does have a mouth guard, and he has this habit of taking it out between plays and chewing on it, which is kind of gross. But you know what this means, kids all over this country are going to be, like, throwing away their Air Jordans and chewing on their retainers all the time.

ROCCA: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, this is true - The Wall Street - The Wall Street Journal ran a story on what they called Steph Curry's army of zombie fans because people on the East Coast - they're a West Coast team - they have to stay up really late to watch them play. And apparently, they're all exhausted the next day at work. And it's like, what the hell, Wall Street? Where is all your cocaine?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Ellen do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She was studying this week. She got them all right - 3 and 0, Ellen.

SAGAL: Very well done, Ellen.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Ellen, we'll look to see you in the Washington Mall holding the colorful umbrella. Thank you so much for playing.

MULASKI: Thank You.

SAGAL: Bye-Bye.

MULASKI: Thank you so much.

(MUSIC)

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