Panel Round One Our panelists answer questions about the week's news.... Where's the Beet?
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Panel Round One

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Panel Round One

Panel Round One

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everyone they can join us most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Ill. For tickets and more information, go to WBEZ.org. Or you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. Right now panel time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke, a new kind of veggie burger sold out in one hour during a trial at Whole Foods. People say it's the veggie burger everybody's been waiting for because unlike other veggie burgers, this one does what?

LUKE BURBANK: It bleeds.

SAGAL: It does...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Luke. It does bleed. The new Beyond Burger is what it's called - bleeds bright red beet juice when you bite into it.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: That's disgusting.

SAGAL: So they're well on the way to perfectly simulating the real burger experience just as soon as they can figure out a way to make it give you heart disease.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Based on the success, they're about to launch their next innovation, a veggie chicken patty that begs for its life.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But here's the thing, it's weird to think that, like, carefully simulated bleeding is what vegetarians crave.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I - I know a number of vegetarians. I thought you loved your vegetables. I didn't think you secretly resented them for not having flesh.

(LAUGHTER)

ROY BLOUNT JR.: Beets have feelings.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They're feeling pretty beat.

BLOUNT JR.: Hey, hey...

(GROANING)

ROBERTS: What are they calling this, the stigmata burger?

SAGAL: No, it's - oh...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's a miracle.

BLOUNT JR.: Well, they can make waffles that bleed. You can make anything that bleeds if you can...

SAGAL: That would be alarming.

BLOUNT JR.: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: The good news is you don't have to eat bloody waffles anymore if you're not hungry.

SAGAL: That's true.

BURBANK: We know that now.

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: That's what the research shows.

SAGAL: I like a waffle that bleeds, a pancake that screams - (shouting).

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: That would be an incredibly effective diet plan...

SAGAL: It really would be.

BURBANK: ...If all of...

(LAUGHTER)

BURBANK: ...All of your food was just deeply upsetting as you tried to eat it.

SAGAL: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

BLOUNT JR.: Or it really asked you to eat it. You know, that would be even worse if it had its own masochistic thing about it...

SAGAL: Please, please...

BLOUNT JR.: Eat me.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "LET IT BLEED")

THE STONES: (Singing) We all need someone we can bleed on. Yeah, yea, and if you want it, baby, why don't you bleed on me?

SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists fix your car in our Bluff The Listener game. Called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

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