Contents Under Pressure For this high-stakes music parody game, we took Billy Joel's song "Pressure," and re-wrote it to be about things that react to pressure.
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Contents Under Pressure

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Contents Under Pressure

Contents Under Pressure

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Let's meet our next two contestants. First up, Ross Freilich. You work in mergers and acquisitions, and you just got back from a trip to an island north of the Arctic Circle.

ROSS FREILICH: That's correct.

EISENBERG: Is it the Island of Misfit Toys?

(LAUGHTER)

FREILICH: No toys, no Santa, just Norwegians.

EISENBERG: Norwegian. So what made you want to go to this particular island?

FREILICH: I had a trip planned to Norway and...

EISENBERG: Yeah.

FREILICH: ...Wanted to go to the most adventurous place that we could figure out.

EISENBERG: And what's on the island other than Norwegians?

FREILICH: Just midnight sun, cool hiking.

EISENBERG: How long were you there?

FREILICH: Just over a week.

EISENBERG: And you're back how long?

FREILICH: I guess two weeks now.

EISENBERG: Yeah, how's it feel?

FREILICH: Work is a real hard reality sometimes.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It sure is, yeah. Your opponent is Scott Wojtanik. You are a printer wholesaler but apparently you're mistaken for a vampire quite often. I'd love to talk to you about your printer business, but let's get to this vampire stuff.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Is it because you drink blood?

SCOTT WOJTANIK: My first job out of college, I worked at my neighborhood youth center. And my neighbor's kids were there. And they'd always called me the pale one because I'm kind of pale. My - the teeth next to my incisors are pointy. It's a recessive gene. I have dark circles under my eyes. I don't go out in the sun. So they kind of started a rumor. So everyone's like, is he a vampire? So those kids that believed it I kind of would lean on that and get them to behave and if not, time out works, so...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: So you actually went with it. You're like, yeah, I am a vampire...

WOJTANIK: Yeah, go with what you know.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: OK, you're in for some great fun. Do you like Billy Joel?

FREILICH: Of course.

EISENBERG: Scott?

WOJTANIK: I've heard of him.

EISENBERG: OK.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: You might be a vampire. You might be a vampire.

WOJTANIK: I have heard of him.

EISENBERG: All right, well, I'm glad you sort of like him or have heard of him. Otherwise, this would be a pretty long game for you. Julian Velard, take it away.

JULIAN VELARD: We've taken Billy Joel's song "Pressure" and rewrote it to be about things that react to pressure. So buzz in when you know the thing I'm talking about. OK, here we go.

(Singing) You have a big job interview - pressure. A good impression is what's due - pressure. No time to dry clean, you must act alone. Now, here you stand at the board with your iron getting hot. Time to demand smooth reward, make these items taught with pressure.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Scott.

WOJTANIK: Ironing your clothes.

EISENBERG: Puzzle guru Art Chung.

ART CHUNG: We'll accept that - wrinkled clothes.

EISENBERG: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Do you iron your clothes?

WOJTANIK: No, I don't. I just tumble everything until it's - looks decent and then it goes on a hanger. And then that's how it stays.

EISENBERG: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Scott, you're super weird to talk to, but I really enjoy it.

(LAUGHTER)

WOJTANIK: I get that a lot.

VELARD: (Singing) This instrument is weather geared - pressure. Measuring in the atmosphere, pressure.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Ross.

FREILICH: A barometer.

EISENBERG: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: It doesn't matter if you know this or not, but if the barometer says low pressure, do you know what that means? Or you're like, oh, I should wear a hat. Like, do you know what that means?

FREILICH: Storm's coming.

EISENBERG: Storm's a-coming. All right. High pressure, what's happening?

FREILICH: Nice weather.

EISENBERG: God, thank you, Ross.

(LAUGHTER)

VELARD: (Singing) My voice is changing and my acne's gross. Can't drive a car, hormones rage, no one's asked me to the prom. Can't hit the bar, under age, no I can't stay calm. There's pressure.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Ross.

FREILICH: Teenagers.

CHUNG: That's right.

EISENBERG: Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

VELARD: Red cells carry oxygen 'round. White cells fight the infections unsound. All your life, it's mostly unseen. Arteries, veins - what does it mean?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Scott.

WOJTANIK: Circulatory system.

CHUNG: Yeah, we'll take that. We're looking for blood.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Trying to hide behind that question, Scott?

WOJTANIK: I'm familiar with blood.

(LAUGHTER)

VELARD: Designed to pull a sneak attack - pressure. Though, now they're easier to track - pressure. Deep in the ocean, they're autonomous. Torpedoes fire. Crew can see looking through the periscope. But it's not dire 'cause the key is the haul can cope with pressure.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Ross.

FREILICH: A submarine.

EISENBERG: That is perfect, of course it is.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: All right, puzzle guru Art Chung, that seemed like a very close game.

CHUNG: It was a very close game. Congratulations to Ross. You're one step closer to the final round.

(APPLAUSE)

VELARD: (Playing piano).

EISENBERG: Julian Velard.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: All right, contestants, good show, good show in that game, well done.

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