BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Maz Jobrani, Amy Dickinson and Mo Rocca. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff The Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air.
Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
RYAN WALLACE: Hi, Peter. This is Ryan Wallace from Geneva, N.Y.
SAGAL: Geneva, N.Y.? And I can't say I know where that is. Where is it?
WALLACE: Right in the middle of the Finger Lakes, which is, like...
SAGAL: Oh, is it really? It's beautiful up there.
WALLACE: It is.
SAGAL: Yeah, and what do you do there?
WALLACE: We run a solar farm.
SAGAL: You run a solar farm? What exactly is that?
WALLACE: Well, it's a big field of solar panels that provides energy.
SAGAL: Do you have to get up at 4 a.m. to milk them?
AMY DICKINSON: You have to walk them?
SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Ryan.
WALLACE: Thank you, thank you.
SAGAL: You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Ryan's topic?
KURTIS: Brangelina's (ph) got nothing on you.
SAGAL: Sure. The split between Brad and Angelina got most of the headlines this week, but they were not the only notable people having it out. Our panelists are going to tell you about other famous people fighting. Guess the true story and you will win our prize - Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
SAGAL: Well, first, let's hear from Maz Jobrani.
MAZ JOBRANI: Anyone familiar with the film "Shrek" also knows the Spanish actor Antonio Banderas plays the sword fighting, boot-wearing cat named Puss in Boots. But what many people don't know is that the part was originally slated to go to another Spanish actor, Javier Bardem. When Bardem found out that he was not getting the part, it started a feud that has now lingered for over 10 years. In a Vanity Fair interview that came out this week, Bardem retold how it all started. (Imitating Javier Bardem) I was born to play this part. I love cats. I am a cat lover.
JOBRANI: (Imitating Javier Bardem) Currently, I have 15 cats and I love all of them. They play with their yarn and drink their milk and make YouTube videos. I mean, come on, those are funny. Like, really, really funny.
Banderas saw it very differently. (Imitating Antonio Banderas) Honestly, I didn't even audition. They just offered me the part. My manager, he calls me, he tells me that they had spoken to Javier, and he was telling them all these crazy stories about how much he love cats. It weirded them out.
JOBRANI: (Imitating Antonio Banderas) I don't even like cats. I'm allergic to them.
The silver lining is that Bardem has been inspired to start his own YouTube channel where he does the voices for his own cats. (Imitating Javier Bardem) My favorite is Chloe. When she plays with the string I do her voice like this - hi, I am Chloe. I like to play with the string because strings, they are fun to play with. Meow.
SAGAL: Antonio Banderas...
SAGAL: ...And Javier Bardem have a 10-year feud over who got to play Puss in Boots. Your next story of a public battle of public personalities comes from Amy Dickinson.
DICKINSON: There was a golden age when Ernest Hemingway could get a little ink by punching F. Scott Fitzgerald in the nose. But literary feuds just don't get the attention they used to, until bookselling factory James Patterson upped the ante this week when he announced his latest book. And the title - "The Murder Of Stephen King." Patterson has never met Stephen King, but his book imagined someone doing bodily harm to the horror master.
The story, which he swears is fictional, takes place in King's house in Maine. In an excerpt, he described King as having a rabbit-like face. Stephen King didn't respond to the title, although he once called James Patterson a terrible writer. After the literary flap this title caused, late in the week Patterson said he was withdrawing the book. He said he knew Stephen King's fans could be a little crazy and he didn't want to provoke them, basically describing the plot of "Misery."
SAGAL: James Patterson and Stephen King...
SAGAL: ...Have a feud, the result of which is a new book called "The Death Of Stephen King" by James Patterson. Your last story of a feud among the famous comes from Mo Rocca.
SAGAL: When Bill Clinton's brother Roger and Dick Van Dyke's brother Jerry teamed up to open an ice cream parlor in East Little Rock, Ark., they had a concept they thought couldn't miss. Big Brother's Soft Serve would feature unique flavors named after their famous siblings and served up by the famous-in-their-own-right co-owners. Customers would line up for Bill Clinton's Presidential Peanut Butter Swirl pumped into a waffle cone by Roger. Or how about a heaping mound of Dick Van Fudge with sprinkles courtesy of Jerry, former star of "My Mother The Car?"
But when Roger Clinton stopped showing up for work, patrons responded coldly. I'm not paying good money to have my Bill Clinton's Crunchy Nut Surprise served to me by a nobody, groused Jan Ilatto (ph). In a last-ditch effort, Jerry Van Dyke called in Randy Quaid, who delighted customers with his Dennis Quaid's Creamsicle Sludge. And Beau Bridges was convinced to come by and serve up Jeff Bridges' Super Soft Banana. But it was far too little too late. Said Jerry Van Dyke, I really expected more from Roger Clinton.
SAGAL: All right, there was a celebrity feud in the news.
SAGAL: Was it from Maz Jobrani, between Antonio Banderas and Javier Bardem about playing the role of Puss in Boots, from Amy Dickinson, between Stephen King and James Patterson resulting in a book called "The Death Of Stephen King," or from Mo Rocca, Roger Clinton and Jerry Van Dyke having a fight in an ice cream parlor in Little Rock? Which of these is the real story of a feud among the famous in the week's news?
WALLACE: That's a tough one. I want to pick the Javier Bardem just based on that accent.
SAGAL: Oh, yeah.
WALLACE: I think I'm to go with Stephen King.
SAGAL: You're going to go with Stephen King, or rather "The Death Of Stephen King" as told by James Patterson, the two bestselling novelists. That's Amy's story.
WALLACE: I guess so.
MO ROCCA: All right.
SAGAL: Guess so. All right, well, we spoke to a reporter covering the real story.
HILLEL ITALIE: The book is called "The Murder Of Stephen King." Stephen King (unintelligible).
SAGAL: That was Hillel Italie, a books and publishing reporter for The Associated Press. And as we said, because of the hubbub caused by the announcement of this book, it has been withdrawn. There will be no book. But it's good news for you because you were right. In fact, it was Amy telling the truth. You picked her. You won our prize. Amy wins a point. Everybody goes home happy. Congratulations.
WALLACE: Oh, thank you so much. Thanks for having me on.
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