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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now it's time for our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Faith and Tom each have two, and Alonzo has three.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: We've flipped a coin. Faith is elected to go first. Here we go, Faith. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week the Senate voted to override a vetoed bill allowing the families of 9/11 victims to sue blank.

FAITH SALIE: Saudi Arabia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, President Obama nominated Jeffrey DeLaurentis to be the first U.S. ambassador to blank in over 50 years.

SALIE: Cuba.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, OPEC agreed to production cuts, which raised the price of blank by 5 percent.

SALIE: Oil.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Shimon Peres, the former president of blank, passed away at the age of 93.

SALIE: Israel.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A plan by some Illinois man to order a pizza and then rob the delivery man was foiled when the pizza was delivered by blank.

SALIE: Was delivered by the police?

SAGAL: No, by a 250-pound former NFL linebacker.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He owned the pizza store. On Tuesday, officials in Colorado announced that they'd use leftover money from blank sales to combat school bullying.

SALIE: Marijuana.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week legendary golfer blank passed away at the age of 87.

SALIE: Arnold Palmer.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In preparation for Halloween, Wal-Mart has started selling what they call a chocolate ice cream emoticon mask but what is actually blank.

SALIE: It - chocolate ice cream emoticon mask is actually something else?

SAGAL: It is, whether or not Wal-Mart knows it.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Oh, it's another character who is somebody else.

SAGAL: Another kind of emoji.

SALIE: Oh, it's a poop.

SAGAL: It is the poop emoji mask.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SALIE: It's a poop emoji.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In Wal-Mart's defense, it is easy to confuse the famous smiling poop emoji with a delicious swirl of chocolate soft-serve. They look almost identical.

TOM BODETT: I'm totally going as that.

SAGAL: That said, the fact that a bunch of kids will be running around dressed as happy poops this Halloween...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Makes the mistake that much more delightful.

SALIE: Wait, that sounds like a new movie.

SAGAL: Happy poops.

SALIE: Happy poops.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Whether the rebranding was intentional or not, it's clear that the real lesson is do not buy chocolate soft-serve from Wal-Mart.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Bill, how did Faith do on our quiz? Fourteen more points, seven right, total of 16 for the lead.

SAGAL: OK.

KURTIS: Hard to beat.

SAGAL: All right, then.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Tom, I believe you're up next. Here we go. Fill in the blank. This week Secretary of State John Kerry said that the U.S. might end cooperation with Russia over their increased airstrikes in blank.

BODETT: Syria.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, a $2.6 billion class action lawsuit was filed with a former employees of blank.

BODETT: Oh, by Wells Fargo.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, emergency crews were called in to help rescue passengers after a commuter train crashed in blank.

BODETT: Oh, Hoboken.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following 50 years of fighting, a peace agreement between the Colombian government and the rebel group blank was signed on Monday.

BODETT: FARC.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: During the debate on Monday, the police department in Lawrence, Kan. issued a warning that blank was not a reason to call 911.

BODETT: Just anger at the presidential debate.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, a federal appeals court ruled that a New Hampshire law banning people from blanking in voting booths was unconstitutional.

BODETT: From having a gun.

SAGAL: No, taking selfies.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A woman in Florida is suing a local sheriff's deputy after he tased her and then blanked.

BODETT: Asked her out.

SAGAL: No, he tased her and then he then he baked her a sorry, I tased you cake.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Florida. Florida. Florida.

(APPLAUSE)

BODETT: (Laughter).

SAGAL: According to the sheriff's deputy, he was just messing around when he playfully tased Stephanie Byron, you know, like friends do. And to prove there were no hard feelings he even baked her a cake writing, sorry, I tased you in blue frosting and then he did this - he piped some stick figures with him looking sad and her looking incapacitated.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Stephanie did not accept the apology and is suing the deputy both for injuries caused by the tasing and because the cake did not come with funfetti.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Pretty good - five right, 10 more points, a total of 12 - still trails Faith.

SAGAL: All right, so how many, then, does Alonzo Bodden need to win this week?

KURTIS: Seven to win.

SAGAL: Here we go, Alonzo. This is for the game - a tall order but you're a tall man. Here we go.

ALONZO BODDEN: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Senate passed a stopgap spending bill successfully avoiding a blank.

BODDEN: Shutdown.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the Arizona Republic newspaper broke a 100-year-old tradition and endorsed blank for president.

BODDEN: Hillary Clinton.

SAGAL: Right, a Democrat.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: First time ever - this week the Indian military launched airstrikes against militants in blank.

BODDEN: Pakistan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Following several military victories, officials reported this week that ISIS no longer controls any oil wells in blank.

BODDEN: Iraq.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, NASA announced they had found evidence of water on one of the moons of blank.

BODDEN: Jupiter.

SAGAL: Right

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, three players in the Michigan State football team joined blank's protest of the national anthem.

BODDEN: Colin Kaepernick.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A 21-year-old man in New South Wales has been dubbed the unluckiest man in Australia after he was blanked for the second time in five months.

BODDEN: Struck by lightning.

SAGAL: No, because he was bitten on his dingo by a spider...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Twice. Five months ago, the man, who works for a construction company in New South Wales, was visiting a port-a-john at his work site when he was bitten by the very painful Redback spider right where you do not want to be bitten by a Redneck spider. This week, he was finally - he finally, having all healed up, gained the courage to use port-a-john again, and, on the first visit, was bitten in the exact same spot.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: About the two bites, the man said, quote, "I think I'm very unlucky, to be honest."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: To which the spider responded, you're unlucky?

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bill, did Alonzo do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Well, he did really well - six right, 12 more points, but at 15 he trails Faith by one.

SAGAL: Faith Salie, champion.

KURTIS: She's the winner.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute we'll ask our panelists to predict what surprising thing will Elon Musk find on Mars once he gets there. But first, let me tell you all that support for NPR comes from NPR stations and Lumber Liquidators, a proud sponsor of NPR, offering more than 400 styles including - hardwood, bamboo, laminate and vinyl, with flooring specialists in hundreds of stores nationwide, more at lumberliquidators.com or 1-800-HARDWOOD. The Sy Syms Foundation, since 1985, supporting advances in science, education and the arts towards a better life. More information is available at sysymsfoundation.org. And Viking River Cruises, sailing through through the heart of cities in Europe, Russia and Asia. Viking River Cruises - exploring the world in comfort - learn more at vrc.com.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Philipp Goedicke writes our limericks. Our intern is Alex Songs and the Wallachy of life (ph). Our web guru is Beth Novey. Special thanks to the crew at the Straz Center. BJ Leiderman composed our theme.

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