To All The Ghouls I've Loved Before Jonathan Coulton parodies game the kinda creepy Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias song "To All the Girls I've Loved Before" to be about famous monsters.

To All The Ghouls I've Loved Before

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Let's check in with our contestants. Jere, if you were a monster, what kind of monster would you be?

JERE HESTER: I guess I would be the 1970s Godzilla nemesis Rodan because he was - he was really cool. He spun around, but he was also a great sculptor.


EISENBERG: Corissa, if you were a monster, what kind of monster would you be?

CORISSA CARLSON: I would be the nemesis to the Keebler elves and be the Cookie Monster.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) Your next game is a music parody game called To All The Ghouls I've Loved Before. Jere, you won the first game. So win this, and you'll move on to the final round. Corissa, you need to win this, or your dissertation will be shredded.


EISENBERG: Jonathan Coulton, take it away.

JONATHAN COULTON: I sure will. We have rewritten the kind of creepy Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias song "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" to be either less creepy or more creepy...


COULTON: ...Depending on your perspective because it is now about famous monsters. Are you ready?



(Singing) To all the ghouls I've loved before - cone-shaped hair I can't ignore. They built her just for me. Then electricity awoke her. She's alive, they swore.


COULTON: Corissa?

CARLSON: Bride of Frankenstein?

COULTON: Indeed. Bride of Frankenstein is correct.


EISENBERG: Her name is Bernice, OK?

COULTON: (Laughter) She has a name.


COULTON: Actually, Mrs. Frankenstein was the wife of the scientist.


COULTON: Just mansplained in a slightly more feminist way.


COULTON: But not that much more.

EISENBERG: I love that. I love that.

COULTON: (Singing) The winds of change are always blowing. There are times they smell like trash. This Muppet grump had no nose showing. His can was cramped. I had to dash.



HESTER: Oscar the Grouch?

COULTON: That's correct.


COULTON: Not the most horrifying monster...


COULTON: ...In the history of monsters.

EISENBERG: Yeah. We've all had that apartment.



COULTON: Pretty standard.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

COULTON: (Singing) There was this one manifestation - big, white thing in a sailor's hat. I felt a very strange sensation when the Ghostbusters made him splat.


COULTON: (Laughter) Corissa?

CARLSON: The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?

COULTON: (Laughter) Yeah, that's right.


COULTON: This is your last clue.


COULTON: (Singing) My latest ghoul - he does beguile. He has a very pointy smile. A Transylvanian stud - likes to drink my blood. I think I'll let him suck a while.



HESTER: Dracula?

COULTON: Yeah, you got it.


COULTON: Art Chung, how did our contestants do?

ART CHUNG: We have a tie. So here's your tiebreaker question - hands on your buzzers. Name the hit Halloween song by Bobby Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers released in 1962.


CHUNG: Corissa?

CARLSON: "Monster Mash?"

CHUNG: That is correct. Well done.


CHUNG: So Corissa, with that, you've tried it up with one game apiece. And we're back to another tiebreaker round.


CHUNG: Doesn't get any easier. I'm going to give you a category. And you'll go back and forth naming things that fall in that category. The first contestant to mess up by guessing incorrectly, repeating an answer or taking too long will be eliminated. You'll have to buzz in to answer first. Here's your category - periodic table elements with atomic numbers 1 through 10.


CHUNG: Corissa, you start.

CARLSON: Carbon.

CHUNG: Carbon is number 6. Correct. Jere?

HESTER: Nitrogen.

CHUNG: Nitrogen is number 7.

CARLSON: Hydrogen.

CHUNG: Hydrogen is number 1, Corissa. Correct. Jere?

HESTER: Oxygen.

CHUNG: Oxygen is number 8. Back to Corissa.

CARLSON: Well...


CARLSON: I'm going to guess sodium.

CHUNG: I'm sorry. Sodium is incorrect. So we're going to have to say goodbye. And congratulations to Jere. You're moving on to the final round.


EISENBERG: It's settled. Our finalists are Vanessa and Jere. They will face off in our final round at the end of the show. Coming up, "Stranger Things'" David Harbour has many sides. We'll roll with 20 of them in the nerdiest game you'll ever hear. I'm Ophira Eisenberg. And you're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.


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