Lemon Tart, Smart Contestants guess the word we have replaced with its Cockney slang equivalent, which rhymes with the word it's replacing.

Lemon Tart, Smart

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OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

So in our next game, we're going to find out what our show would sound like if it were auditioning for "Oliver." Katie, can you do any accents?

KATIE WILLIAMS: Well, I was going to say I can do a British one, but...

EISENBERG: OK, let's hear, let's hear. Just say, hello, my name is Katie and, you know, this show is a bit dodgy. How about that?

WILLIAMS: (Imitating British accent) Hello, my name is Katie, and I think this show is a bit dodgy.

EISENBERG: Yeah, I like it. I like it - very good.

(APPLAUSE)

WILLIAMS: So embarrassing.

EISENBERG: It's great. It's great. Evan, can you do any accents?

EVAN HALPERIN: Not well, no.

EISENBERG: No?

HALPERIN: I'm thinking that maybe I should learn Russian and maybe do a Russian accent. It might get me somewhere now.

(LAUGHTER)

JONATHAN COULTON: I don't know what you're talking about, Evan.

EISENBERG: Just planning some strategy.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: All right, well, listen up, Anglophiles. It's time for a trivia game we call Lemon Tart, Smart. And this is all about cockney rhyming slang. Puzzle guru John Chaneski, what is that?

JOHN CHANESKI: Cockney rhyming slang is where you replace a common word with a seemingly unrelated phrase. The last word of the slang rhymes with the word it's replacing. For example, the slang for the word smart is lemon tart. Smart rhymes with tart.

EISENBERG: So I'm going to read sentences that end with the cockney rhyming slang. Use the context clues to buzz in and tell us what the phrase means in American English. Evan, you won the last game, so you win this, you'll go to the final round. Katie, you need to win this or you'll be brown bread, which is cockney rhyming slang for dead.

WILLIAMS: OK.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Yeah, unfortunately, we have to murder you if you don't get it.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: We've changed the stakes of the show.

WILLIAMS: It was worth it.

COULTON: (Laughter) It's been...

EISENBERG: (Laughter) It's worth it.

WILLIAMS: It was so worth it.

COULTON: Totally worth it.

EISENBERG: OK, here we go. I drank one too many pints while I sat at the near and far.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Evan.

HALPERIN: Bar.

EISENBERG: The bar, yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

WILLIAMS: (Unintelligible).

EISENBERG: Yeah. In the Philadelphia Museum of Art, you'll see a still life with flowers and fruit. But as Rocky Balboa will tell you, you don't need to go inside the museum to see 72 apples and pears.

CHANESKI: Rocky Balboa famously...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Evan, what's going on?

HALPERIN: Bear.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Bear?

CHANESKI: Bears, no, no.

HALPERIN: No.

EISENBERG: Katie?

COULTON: Remember when he had to box against that bear?

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Katie, can you steal?

WILLIAMS: Stairs?

EISENBERG: Stairs, yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Yeah.

COULTON: Evan's like that makes so much more sense than bear.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Here's your next one. Dr. Ruth, Dan Savage and Mallory Ortberg all make their living dispensing lumps of ice.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Katie.

WILLIAMS: Advice?

EISENBERG: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Most of the advice is on what to do with my lump of ice.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: About 1 in 4 American men age 25 or older have never had a trouble in strife.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Katie ringing in quick on this one. What do you got?

WILLIAMS: A wife.

EISENBERG: That is correct, I'm afraid.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: What'd you think of that question there, Jonathan Coulton?

COULTON: I don't have any opinion about it. I think wives are great.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Here's your next one. Craps is a game were you bet on the role of rats and mice.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Katie.

WILLIAMS: The dice.

EISENBERG: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I haven't been out for a ride in a while. In my basement, there's a bunch of cobwebs on my clever mic.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Evan.

HALPERIN: Bike, exercise bike.

EISENBERG: I'll go with your first answer, I'll go with your first answer.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: But I like how you decided to get more specific just in case. All right, this is your last clue. According to Starbucks, the drink that demonstrates the height of our baristas' craft is Al Pacino.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Katie.

WILLIAMS: Cappuccino.

EISENBERG: Yes, say hello to my little venti.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Puzzle guru John Chaneski, how did our contestants do?

CHANESKI: Well, in this case, Katie was our steak dinner - our winner.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

CHANESKI: We are tied one game apiece, so it's time for a quick game three. I'll give you a category, and you'll go back and forth naming things that fall into that category. The first contestant to mess up by either giving a wrong answer, repeating an answer or taking too long will be eliminated. Buzz in to answer first. Name the 13 provinces and territories of Canada.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

WILLIAMS: Katie, you're first.

(LAUGHTER)

CHANESKI: We just need one right now from you.

EISENBERG: Come on guys.

WILLIAMS: Quebec.

CHANESKI: Quebec is right - Evan.

HALPERIN: Alberta.

CHANESKI: Alberta is correct - Katie.

WILLIAMS: Nova Scotia.

CHANESKI: Yes, Nova Scotia - Evan.

HALPERIN: Ontario.

CHANESKI: Ontario is correct - Katie.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: The look on Katie's face is remarkable.

WILLIAMS: Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing.

(LAUGHTER)

CHANESKI: Three seconds.

WILLIAMS: Montreal is not a - it's a city.

CHANESKI: Oh, not it's not.

COULTON: (Laughter).

CHANESKI: The other answers were British Columbia, Manitoba, New Brunswick, Newfoundland and Labrador Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Prince Edward Island, Saskatchewan and Yukon. Thanks, Katie. Sorry to see you go. Congratulations, Evan. You're moving on to the final round.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Coming up, we'll find out who will face off against Evan in our final round at the end of the show. And Jonathan Coulton will parody your 28th favorite Beatles song. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and you're listening to ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.

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