Panel Questions Trump On the Throne, Driving For Dummies
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Panel Questions

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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Mo Rocca, Adam Felber and Roxanne Roberts. And here, again, is your host at the Jay Pritzker Pavilion in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill rhymes and dines us in the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, in a series of tweets on Wednesday, President Trump laid out a directive that said transgender people would no longer be allowed to serve in the U.S. military. But because he took nine minutes between the first and second tweet, many at the Pentagon believed that the president had just decided to do what?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Strike North Korea.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Or, who knows, frankly? At 7:55 a.m. on Wednesday, the president, the commander in chief tweeted, quote, "after consultation with my generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States government will not accept or allow" - and then nothing for nine minutes.

MO ROCCA: It takes him that long to wipe and flush?

SAGAL: Apparently.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's not so much that the president takes the time to do it himself. It just took time for Reince to get in there and do it...

ROCCA: Right.

SAGAL: ...For him.

ADAM FELBER: Yeah.

ROCCA: No, no, the Mooch does it. Only the Mooch can do it. Nobody else gets to do it.

FELBER: I need my Mooch.

ROBERTS: This is a family show...

FELBER: Yeah.

ROBERTS: ...People.

ROCCA: Kids poop, too.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Allegedly.

SAGAL: So the problem was - so the last thing he said was, we will not accept or allow and then nothing. So nobody at the Pentagon had any idea he was going to announce this or had made this decision. So they had no idea what he was going to finish the thought. We will not allow or accept North Korea to have nuclear weapons; we will not allow or accept Iran to exist; we will not accept or allow pineapple on pizza - who knew?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Nobody even knows why Trump decided to ban transgender people from the military. He said he consulted with generals, but none of the generals knew anything about it. Maybe he was just watching "M.A.S.H." reruns and got mad about Klinger - boring character, get rid of him.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: My actual favorite part of this story...

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROBERTS: ...If you can have a favorite part of this story, was that he cited the medical expenses...

SAGAL: Yeah.

ROBERTS: ...As the reason why. And then The Washington Post very quickly came out and said that the Pentagon spends $41 million a year on Viagra and 30-some million on Cialis and about 8 million on any...

SAGAL: Sure.

ROBERTS: ...Any other expenses.

SAGAL: Well, it's priorities...

ROBERTS: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...because, as you know, the military's most concerned about readiness.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Yeah. When the moment strikes...

FELBER: Will you be ready?

SAGAL: Yeah.

Roxanne, new research from the U.K. finds that driving can make you what?

ROBERTS: This is from the U.K.?

SAGAL: This is from the U.K.

ROBERTS: Chinless.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That was cruel.

ROBERTS: Yeah. But it's a study, so it could say that.

SAGAL: Yeah, you never know. No.

ROBERTS: It could say that.

FELBER: Somewhere, there's an English cabbie standing by the side of the road, a single tear trickling down...

SAGAL: Yeah.

FELBER: ...Their cheek.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This is why when you get to where you're going, Roxanne, you don't know why you went there.

ROBERTS: Senile?

SAGAL: Give it to you. Dumber.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: Oh, OK.

SAGAL: Driving makes you dumber.

ROCCA: Really?

ROBERTS: OK.

SAGAL: The research from Leicester University finds that people who drive two or more hours in their car each day get steadily dumber. This means, for example, if you commute to work in Los Angeles, by the time you get there, you are literally too dumb to do your job...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Which, I guess, explains how "The Emoji Movie" got made.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: So driverless cars will make us smarter.

SAGAL: Exactly. You'll be able to - autonomous driving, you're letting the car do the driving. Presumably, it will be dumber by the time you get there. This is why, after a long trip, your car told you that coal jobs were definitely coming back.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: So how did they test for dumber? I'm skeptical of your study, Peter Sagal. How did they test these English drivers...

ROCCA: Right, tell us.

FELBER: ...For dumbness?

SAGAL: What are you, Paula? I...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: They gave - they allowed people to drive, and then they gave them intelligence tests.

FELBER: And when they got to the other end of their journey, they're like, I don't remember what I said before.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: I was a Ph.D., I was.

ROCCA: It's - I think it's...

FELBER: Now look at me.

ROCCA: It's like the opposite "My Fair Lady."

SAGAL: It really is.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF GARY NUMAN SONG, "CARS")

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