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(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Peter Grosz, Roy Blount Jr. and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Palace Theatre in Columbus, Ohio, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody.
SAGAL: In just a few minutes, Bill reveals that he, too, is getting ready for the New Hampshire rhymary (ph) in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAITWAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, according to The New York Times, more and more parents are hiring a new kind of homework tutor for their kids. They're half-tutor, half what?
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Rabbi.
SAGAL: (Imitating Yiddish dialect) What's the answer to the question? Why do you want to know the answer to the question? Is there any reason you couldn't finish your homework yourself?
PETER GROSZ: (Imitating Yiddish dialect) For this, $20 an hour.
ROBERTS: Maybe you have a hint.
SAGAL: I do. OK, but how does that multiple choice question make you feel?
ROBERTS: Half-tutor, half-therapist...
ROBERTS: ...Life coach.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
ROBERTS: All right.
SAGAL: ...Was the answer. Very good. They're called homework therapists, and they cost around $600 an hour...
SAGAL: ...If you didn't already hate wealthy New Yorkers. And these people help students with their homework, then talk to them about their feelings about their homework. It's great when the homework therapist can be efficient - help you both ways at once. So if one train leaves the station at 6 p.m., going 75 miles per hour, and your mother tells you the train left because it does not love you, how does that make you feel?
GROSZ: That's, like, producing the anxiety and then examining the anxiety in the exact same moment.
SAGAL: Yes. That's absolutely true. Yes.
ROY BLOUNT JR.: You could just hit them with a ruler. Come on.
SAGAL: Roy, we all know that foodies - you know, the people who go to incredibly expensive restaurants and pay $30 for a single bite of fancy food - are the most annoying people in the world. Well, it's getting worse because some of those people are now what?
BLOUNT JR.: Tutors.
SAGAL: I'll give you a hint.
SAGAL: (Imitating child) I'm sorry, but was this PB&J locally sourced?
BLOUNT JR.: Oh.
SAGAL: Well, who eats PB&J?
BLOUNT JR.: I do.
GROSZ: Well, the answer is you.
BLOUNT JR.: Children.
SAGAL: Children. Yes, children.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Children. More and more very upscale restaurants, like Per Se in New York, are featuring upscale children's menus with five or more courses of fancy kids food. Instead of the usual things you see on kids menus, which is chicken fingers and only chicken fingers...
SAGAL: ...Now your kids can get things like seared fish, short ribs and beverage pairings, including at one place, and I am quoting, "a sparkling mix of sloe plums, aronia berries, pears and currants, and they're served in a miniature Champagne glass for $12."
BLOUNT JR.: So get up off the floor and eat it.
GROSZ: I mean, it's one thing to give kids nice food, but it's also the amount of money that it takes to go to Per Se...
GROSZ: ...And short ribs and seared fish.
BLOUNT JR.: And why would you name a restaurant Per Se? It's not food, per se.
ROBERTS: It kind of is. That's the point, you know? It's not a steak.
SAGAL: Yeah. It's - I mean, it's...
ROBERTS: It's beef, braised.
SAGAL: They're trying to make kids more welcome so that parents will go out to eat without having to get a babysitter. That's the idea. You can bring your kids, and your kids will be fed and entertained.
ROBERTS: You know, I'm just going to say this - if I'm spending Per Se money...
ROBERTS: ...To be at Per Se...
ROBERTS: ...The last thing I want is a 6-year-old at the next table.
ROBERTS: Can I just say that?
GROSZ: If I'm spending Per Se money to be at Per Se, the last thing I want is my son at my table.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "FANCY")
KIDZ BOP KIDS: (Singing) I'm so fancy. You already know. I'm in the fast lane from LA to Tokyo. I'm so fancy. Can't you taste this gold? Remember my name - about to blow.
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