Panel Questions Won't You Be My Sexy Neighbor, Atomic Mom Alert; Finding Remy.
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Panel Questions

Panel Questions

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BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Alonzo Bodden, Bobcat Goldthwait and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill serenades us with the selection from Ein Rhyme Nachtlimericks (ph). If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, just in time for Halloween, this year, you can dress as a sexy whom?

ROXANNE ROBERTS: I'm pretty sure this is the sexy Mister Rogers.

SAGAL: It is, tragically.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: It's wrong. It's so wrong...

SAGAL: These are the same people...

ROBERTS: ...On so many levels.

SAGAL: ...Same people who brought you the sexy corn and sexy "Handmaid's Tale" outfits last year.

(GROANING)

SAGAL: This year, this costume - sexy Mister Rogers - it's called the Be My Neighbor Costume Kit...

(GROANING)

SAGAL: ...For copyright reasons. It comes with gray hot pants with a belt, a revealing cardigan and a little collar and tie - just the thing for guaranteeing every kid who sees you has a lifetime of therapy.

(LAUGHTER)

BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT: Is the costume for men or women?

SAGAL: The costume as depicted is shown on a female model.

GOLDTHEWAIT: OK. I don't want to be - I mean, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: I mean, how does that go? Is it they go, yeah, yeah. Take your shoes off.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: Yeah. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

GOLDTHEWAIT: Now...

SAGAL: Yeah.

GOLDTHEWAIT: Now put on another. Now put on another pair of shoes. OK. Feed the fish.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GOLDTHEWAIT: Feed the fish.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: All right. Let's go to the land of make-believe - land of make-believe.

(LAUGHTER)

ALONZO BODDEN: Or, you know, the guy who asks his wife or girlfriend to get - to wear that...

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: She's got to be, like, how sick are you?

SAGAL: Yeah.

GOLDTHEWAIT: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Like, what brought this on?

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: Like, OK, I did the schoolgirl, but Mister Rogers?

SAGAL: I know. Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Roxanne, this week in California, a man was arrested for calling in bomb threats to the LA County Fair. After being interrogated, he revealed his motive. Why did he do it?

ROBERTS: I'm going to need a hint.

SAGAL: Well, he lives in their basement, but he didn't want to have to spend all day with them.

ROBERTS: OK. So he lives in his parents' basement.

SAGAL: Yes.

ROBERTS: And they wanted to go to the fair, and they wanted him to go with him. And the only way that he could figure that he could get out of it is by calling in a bomb threat.

SAGAL: You pieced it together, Sherlock.

ROBERTS: OK.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ROBERTS: All right. All right. All right.

(APPLAUSE)

ROBERTS: All right.

GOLDTHEWAIT: Good for you.

SAGAL: The 20-something man - he's in his 20s - had reluctantly agreed to a day with his folks at the LA County Fair - which, by the way, if you've never been, it's just like a normal county fair except the only animals being judged are Shar Peis.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So...

GOLDTHEWAIT: That's not true at all. At night, it gets a little messy.

SAGAL: At night.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: Yes. It's a little sketchy.

ROBERTS: I think the reason he's still living in his parents' basement is that he has minimal problem-solving skills.

SAGAL: Probably, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: Doesn't seem to be good at confrontation.

ROBERTS: Yes.

GOLDTHEWAIT: Like, they say, hey, we're going to the fair. He'd go, I don't feel like it.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: He just plays the line until he's, like, I've got to call in a bomb threat.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GOLDTHEWAIT: Really.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: Look. I can't have another fried Twinkie, mom.

SAGAL: I mean, seriously, you would actually get to choices like fake my own death...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Before you arrive at call in a bomb threat.

GOLDTHEWAIT: How about just plain, old diarrhea?

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: You know? Go with a classic.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GOLDTHEWAIT: Always solid. I mean, no. Well...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Alonzo, a new discovery shows that rats, just like us, like to do what?

BODDEN: Wow.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: That's all you're going to give me...

SAGAL: Yeah.

BODDEN: ...On that one. Just - procreate, or...

SAGAL: Well, we knew that.

BODDEN: Yeah.

SAGAL: This is...

BODDEN: Live in New York.

SAGAL: ...An unusual discovery. They love New York.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: All right. I'm going to need a hint.

SAGAL: Yeah. Well, they even count to 10 with their eyes closed.

BODDEN: Oh, play hide and seek.

SAGAL: That's exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Researchers have successfully taught rats how to play hide and seek, and the rats love it. It's - in the study, the rats played the game with humans. They either hid and waited to be found, or they let the human hide, and then they'd go find the human. So just remember - the next time you walk through a gross alley, just yell, ready or not, here I come, and all the rats will move.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: By the way, this - I love this detail - that normally we assume that you train rats with food. You know, that's how they solve the maze - a little piece of cheese or whatever. No - they rewarded the rats for learning the game through tickles.

(LAUGHTER)

ROBERTS: Aw.

SAGAL: This is true. Rats like to be tickled.

BODDEN: I think you are low man on the lab totem pole...

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: ...When you're the rat tickler.

SAGAL: Yeah.

GOLDTHEWAIT: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: That's your gig.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: Listen. If the rat...

GOLDTHEWAIT: Yeah.

BODDEN: If the rat gets found, step up. It's your time.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: One of the least popular Marvel characters...

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

GOLDTHEWAIT: ...the Rat Tickler.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "READY OR NOT")

FUGEES: (Singing) Ready or not, here I come. You can't hide. Going to find you and take it slowly. Ready or not...

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