MARY LOUISE KELLY, HOST:
When it comes to the 2020 presidential candidates, comedian Negin Farsad says they are all approaching health care the wrong way. But she has a four-legged solution.
NEGIN FARSAD: I'm the dog owner of a fluffy and friendly Pomeranian named Pashmak, which most of you know means cotton candy in Farsi. My dog brings me joy, but I didn't realize until recently that he's also giving me a longer life. Yeah, it's science, you guys. With every water bowl I refill and every hairball I clean up, I grow stronger - as in, I'm 24% less likely to die of practically anything because of my 10-pound swirl of cotton candy. This isn't just the ravings of a dog-loving lunatic. This is according to the journal, Circulation, which is like the BuzzFeed of the American Heart Association, minus the listicles. Doctors are always yelling at us to exercise more. And when you have a dog, you're sort of accidentally exercising because you have to take them out all the time. Their digestive systems keep working even when it's raining outside. So the real question is, why aren't dogs a part of the health care system? Some dogs can detect oncoming epileptic seizures, low blood sugar in diabetics. And they can even sniff the presence of certain cancers. Dogs are basically furry doctors. And if dogs have the power to keep people healthier, having a dog should lower insurance deductibles. I mean, I don't smoke. I don't drink. And I have a dog. My insurance company should basically be paying me. I don't want to just hear presidential candidates talking about "Medicare for All." I want to hear about dogs for all. Maybe woman's best friend is one tiny solution to the endless money pit that the U.S. health care system, the most expensive in the world, has become. So here's my solution. It's the same one that decreases stress, obsesses over squirrels and is way, way, way cuter than any policies I've heard.
KELLY: That is comedian Negin Farsad. She's a frequent panelist on NPR's Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me. And you can hear her on this week's show.
(SOUNDBITE OF FEM'S "ARE U THERE")
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