Rhyme Signature Ophira Eisenberg and Jonathan Coulton conduct and instruct the contestants to answer with a musical term and a rhyming word.
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Rhyme Signature

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Rhyme Signature

Rhyme Signature

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JONATHAN COULTON: From NPR and WNYC, coming to you from the Bell House in beautiful Brooklyn, N.Y., it's NPR's hour of puzzles, word games and trivia, ASK ME ANOTHER. I'm Jonathan Coulton. Now here's your host, Ophira Eisenberg.

(APPLAUSE)

OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:

Hi, everybody. How's it going?

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: We have an amazing show. I'm really happy to be here with you. We have four brilliant contestants. They are currently backstage, wishing they would have accepted the Xanax that was offered to them by their co-worker. Soon they'll be up here playing some nerdy games, and one of them will be our big winner. And our special guest is the amazing John Cameron Mitchell, everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Yeah. John Cameron Mitchell wrote and starred in "Hedwig And The Angry Inch." Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: John Cameron Mitchell has appeared in "Girls," "Shrill." He directed an episode of "GLOW." Yeah. Let's just take a minute to commend him for having his hands in every television show that has inspired a woman to down three glasses of Shiraz and get in a fight with her boyfriend.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: I love this trend right now in television where the titles are all about reclaiming female-centered insults. Like, we've got "Shrill," "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend," "Insecure." Stay tuned for my upcoming buddy comedy called "Moody And Smile More"...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: ..."Vocal Fry And Upspeak"...

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: ...Or the animated series "Smokey Eyes And Like."

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: It's my favorite. I didn't know this, but John Cameron Mitchell was also the voice of Sydney, the animated kangaroo for the snack Dunkaroos. Yeah. Who here remembers Dunkaroos?

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Yeah. Yes. So if you don't know, they were this little package of cookies that you dunked in another little package of icing. They were discontinued in the U.S. in 2012 because they were terrible for children - terrible.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: But yes, he was the voiceover for that. You know, I just wonder - we are all so nostalgic about snacks from the past. I wonder if the children of now will be nostalgic for snacks in the future. Like, in 2040, will the adults be like, do you remember those lentil crisps?

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Oh, those were so delicious. Man, I went on eBay. I found some sriracha chickpeas for $45. We're going to have them for the Super Bowl. Remember when we drank too much oat milk? Yeah - high-five.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Later in the show, too, we have a game about children's television shows. I have a 4-year-old, and his favorite show is "PAW Patrol," which combines two things that children love - puppies and a police state.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: Art imitates life, you know?

EISENBERG: They like order. They like order.

COULTON: Me too (laughter). You talking about the puppies or the toddlers?

EISENBERG: Yeah (laughter). Puppies love order. Toddlers love order.

COULTON: Yeah, they love it.

EISENBERG: Yeah. All right, everybody. Let's play some games.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Our first two contestants will play a game about rhyming, which always makes me think of oranges. I am like an orange. Nothing rhymes with my name, I bruise easily and I'm great after a soccer game.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: First up, Hannah Corrigan - you are a performer and an expert Bedazzler, yeah?

HANNAH CORRIGAN: Expert, no. Truly a novice - just a...

EISENBERG: Enthusiast?

CORRIGAN: Enthusiast.

EISENBERG: OK.

CORRIGAN: Yes.

EISENBERG: What are you Bedazzling right now?

CORRIGAN: Sunglasses (laughter).

EISENBERG: Sunglasses, yeah. OK. Sunglasses - anything else?

CORRIGAN: I tried to do this - one of those umbrella hats.

EISENBERG: Oh, yeah.

CORRIGAN: And then it was so many fake jewels that it - the weight of it began to have so much more power than the small structure that was keeping it in place. It was non-functional.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

CORRIGAN: And it was...

EISENBERG: A sun hat...

CORRIGAN: ...A huge waste of time.

EISENBERG: That's right. A heavy sun hat would be a problem. Hannah, when you ring in, we'll hear this.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Your opponent is Leah Scrivner. You're a special education teacher, and you described yourself as a nerd for paperwork.

LEAH SCRIVNER: Yeah, I do. I like paperwork.

EISENBERG: Why? What do you like about it?

SCRIVNER: The satisfaction of getting it done, making lists, checking things off.

EISENBERG: Yeah. Do you like a spreadsheet?

SCRIVNER: I love a spreadsheet.

EISENBERG: Who doesn't love a spreadsheet?

(LAUGHTER)

SCRIVNER: I love Excel. Yeah.

EISENBERG: Yeah.

SCRIVNER: I'm big on it.

EISENBERG: Do you put checkboxes in your Excel spreadsheets?

SCRIVNER: I don't, but I like making lists of things I've already done to check them off.

EISENBERG: Oh, that's the best. Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: Leah, when you ring in, we'll hear this.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Hannah and Leah, whoever has more points after two games will go to the final round. This trivia game is called Rhyme Signature. Every answer is a musical term and a word that rhymes with it.

COULTON: For example, if we said, I was the hero of the party when I brought a gelatinous dessert shaped like a mid-sized stringed instrument, you would answer, Jell-O cello.

EISENBERG: Ring in to answer, and here we go. Musicians who play drums, xylophone or triangle are always in danger of accidentally hitting themselves in the head with mallets and suffering this injury.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Hannah.

CORRIGAN: Percussion concussion.

EISENBERG: That's correct.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Although if they hit themselves in the head with their own instrument, are they musicians?

COULTON: Speaking for myself, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

EISENBERG: OK, good.

COULTON: Reading sheet music is easy even if it's not in bass clef. The hard part is getting pelted with a tiny rock.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Hannah.

CORRIGAN: Treble pebble.

COULTON: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: I love the idea of someone just throwing - that's their job in the orchestra.

COULTON: Is the rock thrower - yeah.

EISENBERG: The rock thrower. Beethoven got the idea to gradually make "Symphony No. 5" get louder and louder when he saw Mario bump into a mushroom and get big in a game made by this company.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Leah.

SCRIVNER: Nintendo crenscendo (ph) - crescendo.

EISENBERG: There you go. That's right - Nintendo crescendo.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: Arr. X marks the spot, matey (ph) - not for bars of gold but for a bar of music.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Leah.

SCRIVNER: Measure treasure.

COULTON: Yeah, that's right.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: Puccini wrote a lesser-known operatic solo about his favorite apathetic MTV cartoon character.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Hannah.

CORRIGAN: Aria Daria.

EISENBERG: That is correct, yes.

(APPLAUSE)

EISENBERG: "Daria" is a "Beavis And Butt-Head" spinoff. In a recent interview, its co-creator revealed that its goal was to broaden MTV's demographic of viewers because the network had, quote, "no female viewers."

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: All Beavis and Butt-Heads in their audience.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) That's it.

COULTON: Yeah. It's a composition for an instrumental soloist or a mid-sized Hyundai which you can drive to brunch, where you will order a crustless quiche.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Leah.

SCRIVNER: Sonata cantata.

COULTON: It's a good guess, but it's incorrect. Hannah, do you know the answer?

CORRIGAN: The first one is a concerto. And the second one, a Hyundai - it's a mantra concerta (ph) Elantra.

(LAUGHTER)

CORRIGAN: No, a concerta - no, that's it. That was too much of an answer.

COULTON: I'm going to free you from this prison.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

CORRIGAN: Please.

(LAUGHTER)

COULTON: That is incorrect.

CORRIGAN: I don't - it's New York. We don't have cars.

COULTON: (Laughter) Leah knows the answer. It's too late. I can't give you the point.

CORRIGAN: A violin...

COULTON: What's the answer, Leah?

SCRIVNER: A Sonata frittata.

COULTON: Sonata frittata.

CORRIGAN: Oh, my God.

(APPLAUSE)

CORRIGAN: Why is there a Hyundai?

COULTON: It's a Hyundai Sonata.

CORRIGAN: Oh.

COULTON: We gave you too many clues...

CORRIGAN: Ride the subway...

COULTON: ...Is the problem.

EISENBERG: Clearly, the...

CORRIGAN: ...Everyone.

(LAUGHTER)

CORRIGAN: It's good for the earth.

EISENBERG: The crustless quiche really...

CORRIGAN: Yeah.

EISENBERG: ...Held you guys up, too. You were like - frittatas are just, like, your - someone's dinner from the night before mixed with eggs.

COULTON: (Laughter).

CORRIGAN: Thank you, Ophira.

EISENBERG: Yes. All right, here's your next clue. Mr. Holland from "Mr. Holland's Opus" - all right, I'll give you another clue. This maestro directs an orchestra by day and gives music lessons by night.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

EISENBERG: Leah.

SCRIVNER: Instructor conductor.

EISENBERG: That is correct.

(APPLAUSE)

COULTON: That was a hard one. This is your last clue. It's time to bring this musical piece to an end. To celebrate, let's slam back a can of pop.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

COULTON: Hannah.

CORRIGAN: Coda soda.

COULTON: Coda soda is correct.

(SOUNDBITE OF RJD2'S "CHILL FACTOR")

EISENBERG: All right. Great game - Hannah is in the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

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