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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points.

Bill, can you give us the score?

BILL KURTIS: Alonzo has two. Helen and Tom each have three.

SAGAL: All right, Alonzo, you are in second place. You're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank. In a bipartisan vote on Thursday, the Senate approved a resolution limiting President Trump's war powers against blank.

ALONZO BODDEN: Iran.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, the White House released their proposed blank, which includes cuts to Medicare and Social Security.

BODDEN: Budget.

SAGAL: Following...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Last week's disastrous caucus, the head of blank Democratic Party resigned this week.

BODDEN: Iowa.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, a special prosecutor indicted "Empire" actor blank on charges of faking an attack here in Chicago.

SAGAL: Jussie Smollett.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Emergency workers in Minnesota had to rescue a man who got trapped in the ice after he tried to walk across the Mississippi River because blank.

BODDEN: He was hungry.

SAGAL: No, he walked across the frozen Mississippi because he says Google Maps told him to.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a standard poodle named Siba won 144th annual blank.

BODDEN: Westminster Kennel Club Show.

SAGAL: Yes, exactly right. This week, police in Tennessee arrested a man after he dropped his journal...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Which was filled with blank.

BODDEN: Plots.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I'm going to give it to you because the answer is the addresses of all the houses he was going to rob.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BODDEN: Thank you. I'll take it.

SAGAL: You're welcome.

(APPLAUSE)

HELEN HONG: Nice.

SAGAL: That's a plot. The notebook was found at the scene of a break-in, and it included a pretty standard to-do list - pick up the dry cleaning, go to the grocery store, commit multiple felonies. The officers were able to arrest the man by going to one of the addresses he had written down. And he's now awaiting trial for theft but says he's learned his lesson. Next time, he'll pay the few extra bucks for the diary with a heart-shaped lock.

Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Alonzo did well six, right, 12 more points, 14. Alonzo, you're in the lead.

SAGAL: Congratulations.

BODDEN: Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, we have flipped a coin, and Helen has elected to go next. So here you go, Helen, fill in the blank. On Thursday, Attorney General Barr said that Trump's constant blanking makes his job harder.

HONG: Tweeting.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new fiscal report, the federal blank will rise by 25% over the first four months of 2020.

HONG: Deficit?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, former chief of staff John Kelly said that blank was right to report Trump's call with Ukraine.

HONG: The ambassador.

SAGAL: No. The other guy, Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman. This week, the National Head Winds Championship, where bikers have to pedal against high winds, was canceled due to blank.

HONG: High winds.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to research, this winter has been the blankest in U.S. history.

HONG: Hottest.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A North Carolina man was shocked this week when he discovered the box of puppies...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...He found on his doorstep were blank.

HONG: Raccoons.

SAGAL: So close. The box of puppies were actually a box of bear cubs.

KURTIS: Oh.

SAGAL: The man returned home from a walk to find a box of adorable puppies in his front lawn. Knowing he couldn't keep them, he called police, who immediately realized that they weren't dogs at all but baby bears. Local wildlife rangers were able to get the bears to a sanctuary. And the man continues to live happily with his cat, which is a horse.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Four, right, eight more points, total of 11. And that means Alonzo still leads.

SAGAL: All right, how many then does Tom need to take it away from him?

KURTIS: Six.

SAGAL: All right, Tom, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, the Justice Department charged four members of blank's military with the 2017 Equifax hack.

TOM PAPA: Saudi Arabia.

SAGAL: No, China. On Thursday, Jim Crane, the owner of the 2017 World Series winning blank, apologized for that team's cheating scandal.

PAPA: Yeah. The Astros, the biggest cheaters in the world.

SAGAL: Yes. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, a lab in San Diego said it had discovered a vaccine for blank.

PAPA: Coronavirus.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, a federal judge cleared the way for a $26 billion merger of T-Mobile and blank.

PAPA: And Sprint.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a sign that could be interpreted any number of ways, Elizabeth Warren's campaign office in Asheville, N.C., got a surprise when a blank wandered in.

PAPA: A box of bears.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A chicken wandered in and laid an egg on Monday.

PAPA: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Apple was hit with a $25 million fine for intentionally slowing down old blanks.

PAPA: iPhone.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, "Parasite" became the first non-English language film to win best picture at the blanks.

PAPA: Academy Awards.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a passenger who wanted more personal space on the subway in New York...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Blanked around his seat.

PAPA: Urinated.

SAGAL: No...

PAPA: Good strategy.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He sprayed his perimeter with ketchup.

PAPA: Oh.

HONG: What?

SAGAL: You know how it goes - you finally gwt a seat on the subway. You don't want the experience to be ruined by a sea of crotches and bellies in your face. When you take out a bottle of ketchup. You create a little red moat around your seat.

(LAUGHTER)

PAPA: And if you want the whole car to split, you yell, I'm bleeding.

(LAUGHTER)

BODDEN: You know how crazy you have to be for New York subway riders to be like, that's crazy?

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Tom do well enough to win?

KURTIS: Let me put it this way - ladies and gentlemen, it's an honor for me to declare the winner is Alonzo.

(LAUGHTER)

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