Teacher's Pet Comedians Greta Titelman and Benito Skinner answer questions asked by fictional teachers from TV shows and movies.
NPR logo

Teacher's Pet

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/895015043/895075446" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript
Teacher's Pet

Teacher's Pet

  • Download
  • <iframe src="https://www.npr.org/player/embed/895015043/895075446" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
  • Transcript


Greta, Benito, would you like to play another game?



EISENBERG: So this game is about teaching and teachers. Of course, it used to be that actors would portray teachers on screen. Now, every teacher also gets to portray themselves onscreen. So in this game, we're going to play you a clip of a fictional teacher in a television series or movie asking their class a question, and your job is to identify the movie or television show it's from.



EISENBERG: For whatever reason if you need hints, I also have multiple-choice possibilities for you.


EISENBERG: Greta, this first one is for you. We're in Harvard Law with our classmate Reese Witherspoon.


HOLLAND TAYLOR: (As Professor Stromwell) The law is reason free from passion. Does anyone know who spoke those immortal words?

SKINNER: If you don't get this, Greta, I will actually...

EISENBERG: Would you like multiple choice?

TITELMAN: Yeah, I would like multiple choice.


TITELMAN: I'm sorry. I need multiple choice.

EISENBERG: Is it A, Francis Bacon, B, Aristotle, or C, Cellino & Barnes?

TITELMAN: I believe it's Aristotle.

EISENBERG: You are correct. Yeah.

SKINNER: Do you remember in the grad speech? In the words of Aristotle...

TITELMAN: Oh, yeah, of Aristotle. And that was "Legally Blonde."

SKINNER: Yeah. Literally it's the only reason I know that, that - like, I remember, like, in high school being asked. And I was like, Aristotle.


TITELMAN: The reason I know of Aristotle is "Legally Blonde."

SKINNER: Is because of Elle Woods. Yeah, it's because of Miss Elle Woods.

EISENBERG: OK, Benito, here is Morgan Freeman with a history lesson.


MORGAN FREEMAN: (As Principal Joe Clark) All right, the Magna Carta. It was a document guaranteeing rights, but the rights of whom?

JONATHAN COULTON, BYLINE: OK. So was it A, peasants, B, the aristocracy, or C, cruise ships?

SKINNER: I don't know.

EISENBERG: I think we can give him the movie. Could we give him the movie?

COULTON: Yeah. The movie is "Lean On Me."

SKINNER: I'm going to say aristocracy.


COULTON: Yeah, that's correct.

SKINNER: Yeah. I had it...

TITELMAN: I was going to say Magna, Magna Carta, Magna big...

SKINNER: Yeah. I'm like, that feels like - yeah, it's definitely not cruise ships. I had a completely different movie that was from in my head.

EISENBERG: OK, Greta, we're back in high school with a superhero who's also on the academic decathlon team. It's a 2017 Marvel movie.


UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: (As character) Let's move to the next question. What is the heaviest naturally occurring element?


TITELMAN: I don't know.

EISENBERG: Would you like...

SKINNER: Unfortunately I do know this one because I only know yours (laughter). Can she phone a friend?

EISENBERG: Do you want the multiple choice?

TITELMAN: Yeah, I'll take the multiple choice.

EISENBERG: OK, so the question your answer is, what is the heaviest naturally occurring element? In the movie, is the answer A, uranium, B, hydrogen, or C, your groceries?

TITELMAN: I'm going to go with uranium because...

EISENBERG: Right. Yes, uranium is correct.

SKINNER: Because it's Marvel.

TITELMAN: ...Because it's Marvel. And if it's a Marvel movie and a high-school student is a hero...

SKINNER: You know this.

TITELMAN: How have I - oh, duh, it's Spider-Man.


EISENBERG: Right. Exactly.

TITELMAN: It's Peter Parker.

SKINNER: I was like, Peter Parker.

TITELMAN: I was like, OK.


EISENBERG: Yeah, "Spider-Man: Homecoming" is the particular movie.


SKINNER: I also want everyone to know Tom Holland's Instagram handle is tomholland2013. Is not the straightest thing you have ever heard in your life?

TITELMAN: 2013 because that's when Tom Holland got on.

SKINNER: He was like, oh, 2013.

EISENBERG: Oh, I thought, like, he...

SKINNER: Like, he didn't even think about it.

EISENBERG: ...He, like, reverse the password and the username (laughter).

SKINNER: No, I bet his password is, like, Spider-Man, you know?



SKINNER: Spidey.

COULTON: All right, Benito, this is the last question, and it is for you. This is a question from the best science teacher ever, Walter White.


BRYAN CRANSTON: (As Walter White) Chemistry - it is the study of what? Anyone?

SKINNER: Are you giving me multiple choice?

COULTON: I am absolutely giving you multiple choice. Is it A, matter, B, life, or C, swiping right?

TITELMAN: You know what it is.

SKINNER: I believe it is matter.

COULTON: It is absolutely matter. You are correct.

SKINNER: And it's "Breaking Bad."

COULTON: "Breaking Bad," you got it. You got them both.

EISENBERG: You guys did great.

SKINNER: Thank God I got one.

TITELMAN: You did it.

EISENBERG: Thank you so much for joining us.

SKINNER: It was heaven.

TITELMAN: Thank you so much for having us. We loved every little second.


EISENBERG: That was comedians Greta Titelman and Benito Skinner.


EISENBERG: Coming up, I am thrilled to chat with Danielle, Este and Alana from the band HAIM. And this may come as a shock, but I am a secret fourth Haim sister. Please, no questions at this time. Thank you. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.

Copyright © 2020 NPR. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use and permissions pages at www.npr.org for further information.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by Verb8tm, Inc., an NPR contractor, and produced using a proprietary transcription process developed with NPR. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.