FARAI CHIDEYA, host:
I'm Farai Chideya and this is News & Notes. On Memorial Day, we honor the men and women who've died to protect our nation. But what about the soldiers who make it back home? How do they and their families cope with the effects of war? Sonia Parker is married to Army Sergeant Michael Parker. He recently returned from a tour in Iraq, and adjusting to civilian life hasn't been easy. Sonia, thanks for coming on.
Mrs. SONIA PARKER (Wife of Army Sergeant Michael Parker): Hello.
CHIDEYA: So let's start with your husband, Michael. He spent 11 years in the Army, and he recently returned from Iraq. How's that transition been for him and for you?
Mrs. PARKER: It been very hard because we're here in Houston, and Houston don't have a home base. So my husband left Germany to return straight to Houston. It have been really stressful and just dealing with a lot of ups and downs after, you know, coming home from a war, and there's no help here in Houston.
CHIDEYA: Now, some people who've gone to Iraq have gotten physical injuries; other people come home with invisible wounds of war. What is Michael dealing with?
Mrs. PARKER: He's dealing with PTSD. He have a back injury, he have a wrist injury, and he have some hearing loss.
CHIDEYA: So when he came home, how was he different in how he treated you, related to you, related to family life?
Mrs. PARKER: He's totally different. For one, Michael is very quiet. And since he returned, he's even distant, and it's causing a lot of problems in our marriage. And it's just - this war have caused a lot of stress on the wives and the families, they have to deal with these soldiers when they return.
CHIDEYA: What do you try to do with or for Michael to help him adjust?
Mrs. PARKER: I try everything in the world, and it seem like it don't help. Because he have a wall built up, and for one, we don't have enough help here. We only have one clinic that we can go to for counseling and therapy. And it's like two-hour drive away from where we live, so that's a major problem, too.
CHIDEYA: And what about you? I mean, who's taking care of you?
Mrs. PARKER: Me. I'm stressed out. We have so many soldiers that's returning here from Houston that losing everything because they - there's no help here, there's no funding, you know. I'm trying to find out, where's the funding? We went through our savings, because it took Mike eight to nine months to find a job. That's a long time. And I called over 300 numbers for help, and out of 300 numbers, I have six organizations that nonprofit, and I've got a problem with - why do we have nonprofit helping returning veterans? Where's the government?
CHIDEYA: How did that make you feel?
Mrs. PARKER: It makes me feel sad. It makes me feel sad for my husband.
CHIDEYA: Now let's talk a little bit. You know, you are clearly someone who is going through all sorts of things right now. But you're also helping other people. Tell us about the work that you do with veterans in Houston.
Mrs. PARKER: Well, it's not just veterans. I help homeless, you know, whoever need it. We were stationed in Germany, and when the Katrina really hit I flew back here to help with the Red Cross with the Katrina and the Rita. And also I go out on my own to pick up donations, clothes, food, whatever I can pick up for the homeless veterans that's in Houston, that's living on the streets.
CHIDEYA: When you think about the challenges that you face and the things that other people in your area face, what specifically would you like to see?
Mrs. PARKER: I would like to see for the government to stand up and do what they need to do for these returning soldiers, because we say we support the troops, and then when they come back, they're not getting the support they need.
CHIDEYA: How do you feel this plays out in terms of issues like race, education and economics? And what I mean by that is that America's soldiers and Marines don't necessarily represent every group in society. Although there are fewer black soldiers than there used to be, black Americans are still more likely to be in the military than white Americans, you know, as a percentage of the population. You also have a lot of folks entering the military who really just want a job and who are entering with a high school degree as opposed to a college degree. How do you feel things are playing out in Houston in terms of who goes into the military and how they're treated when they come out?
Mrs. PARKER: I think none of them need to go. None of them should go. I think they all should come home, and I say that because of my experience and what my husband went through after he returned. He's fighting for nothing, and when he comes home, he has nothing.
And when my husband felt like giving up, it was only me there, and we didn't have nobody to go to. And I just feel like it's all for the wrong reason. And I feel like the government, the president of the United States, he say this and say that. Me, personally, I want him to talk to me in my face because we're sending funding, billions and billions of dollars overseas, for what, when we need it here.
CHIDEYA: When you look ahead at your life, your life with Michael, are you hopeful that things are going to get better?
Mrs. PARKER: Yes, very.
CHIDEYA: Sonia, thanks so much.
Mrs. PARKER: Thank you.
CHIDEYA: Sonia Parker is the wife of Army Sergeant Michael Parker, who is now back in civilian life, and she joined us from member station KUHF in Houston, Texas.
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