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Lightning Fill In The Blank

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Lightning Fill In The Blank

Lightning Fill In The Blank

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Jessi has two. Adam has three, and Luke is tied with three.

SAGAL: So, Jessi, you are in third place, so you get to go first.

JESSI KLEIN: Huzzah.

SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the Justice Department announced plans to defend blank against E. Jean Carroll's defamation suit.

KLEIN: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Sunday, several cities in blank recorded their highest temperature on record.

KLEIN: Los Angeles.

SAGAL: California, right.

KLEIN: California.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, several Republican senators said they doubted a new blank relief bill would be passed before the election.

KLEIN: Economic.

SAGAL: Yeah.

KLEIN: COVID.

SAGAL: Yeah, COVID relief bill.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a lawmaker in the U.K. assured the press that a new economic plan would only blank in a, quote, "limited way."

KLEIN: I don't know.

SAGAL: Would only break international law in a limited way.

KLEIN: Oh, perfect.

SAGAL: On Tuesday, electric car company blank saw its biggest one-day stock market drop ever.

KLEIN: Tesla?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, former Fox News host blank launched her own media company.

KLEIN: Megyn Kelly?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: She's doing a podcast. They all do podcasts in the end.

KLEIN: Great.

SAGAL: This week, a man in France trying...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...To swat a fly accidentally blanked.

KLEIN: Died super dead.

SAGAL: No, he accidentally blew up his own house.

KLEIN: Perfect.

SAGAL: The man was using an electric fly swatter. But when he reached the kitchen chasing the fly, the spark ignited the open gas on the stove, causing a huge explosion that destroyed a large part of the house...

KLEIN: Oh, no.

SAGAL: ...Which to led the ultimate good-news-bad-news conversation with his wife. Here's the good news, honey. I'm relatively confident that fly is dead.

KLEIN: Well, at least it wasn't a gender reveal party.

SAGAL: Exactly.

(LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: What gender was the fly?

SAGAL: That's actually less embarrassing than a gender reveal party blowing up.

KLEIN: By a smidge.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Jessi do on our quiz?

KURTIS: She had five right for 10 more points. She now has 12, and that gives her the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: All right. I'm going to arbitrarily say Luke is up next.

BURBANK: All right.

SAGAL: Luke, fill in the blank. On Tuesday, researchers confirmed that the blank rally in South Dakota was a COVID superspreader event.

BURBANK: Sturgis motorcycle.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Ted Cruz, Tom Cotton and Josh Hawley were all in President Trump's shortlist for blank, which he announced on Wednesday.

BURBANK: Supreme Court?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two days after reaching temperatures of 101 degrees, residents in Denver were warned to look out for blank.

BURBANK: Snow.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Microsoft said that hackers from Russia, China and Iran had stepped up their efforts to target the 2020 blank.

BURBANK: Election.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a passenger on a flight in Ukraine got tired waiting for a gate to open up and blanked.

BURBANK: Opened the emergency door and went walking on the wing.

SAGAL: Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: For the first time since March, late-night sketch show blank will be returning to NBC studios.

BURBANK: "Jimmy Fallon."

SAGAL: No, "Saturday Night Live." On Sunday, tennis star Novak Djokovic was disqualified from the U.S. Open after accidentally blanking.

BURBANK: Nailing a ball boy in the jugular.

SAGAL: Close enough.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It was a line judge. Though it may have been a typo...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...A Rhode Island newspaper reported a local bank donated thousands of dollars to 15 local blanks.

BURBANK: Other banks.

SAGAL: No, they donated thousands of dollars to 15 local food panties.

BURBANK: (Laughter).

SAGAL: That was the headline of the Warwick Beacon. "BankRI Assists 15 Food Panties With $7,500 Donation," which in these troubled times is peace of mind. The last thing anyone wants is a cabbage or ribeye steak without underwear.

BURBANK: I'd say don't put food panties into your Internet search, listeners of America.

KLEIN: I need you guys to stop saying panties immediately.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, Luke, I think, did pretty well. How well did he do?

KURTIS: He's coming on strong. He had six right for 12 more points. He now has 15, and that's the lead.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: All right. That means that Adam needs how much to win?

KURTIS: Six to tie, seven to win.

SAGAL: All right. Tall order, Adam. Here we go. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a DHS whistleblower said he was asked to downplay blank's election meddling.

ADAM BURKE: Russia's.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a volunteer fell ill, AstraZeneca paused trials of their new blank vaccine.

BURKE: COVID.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new CNBC poll, 55% of likely voters think blank is mentally unfit to be president.

BURKE: Donald Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to that same poll, 52% of likely voters think blank is mentally unfit to be president.

BURKE: Joe Biden.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Virginia funeral home has agreed to fulfill the dying wish of a 94-year-old veteran by blanking.

BURKE: Blowing up his coffin for a gender reveal party.

BURBANK: (Laughter).

SAGAL: No, by burying him in a giant pack of Juicy Fruit gum. On Thursday, NASA announced it would pay companies to collect rocks from the blank.

BURKE: Moon.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a new report, 52% of young adults are blanking with their parents, the highest amount since the Great Depression.

BURKE: Living.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A sheriff's deputy in Georgia lost some...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Paperwork this week after she left her car door open and blank.

BURKE: They all flew out the window.

SAGAL: No.

BURKE: They all flew out.

SAGAL: A goat jumped into the cruiser and ate it. The officer left her car door open while she served some civil forms to a nearby house. And when she returned, a goat was in her passenger seat, eating all the paperwork. The goat then knocked the deputy onto the ground, and there was a struggle. It's hard to tell exactly what happened because the officer says the goat also ate her body camera.

BURBANK: And people thought I was crazy for training that goat. Now they can't press charges.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he got six right for 12 more points. That means he has 15, and he and Luke are tied for the win.

SAGAL: Congratulations, guys.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

SAGAL: I hope that provides some punctuation to another meaningless span of time.

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