TV Answering Machines Mike Albo and Amanda Duarte listen to sound clips of voicemail messages from TV shows. Please leave your answer at the beep.
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TV Answering Machines

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TV Answering Machines

TV Answering Machines

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  • <iframe src="" width="100%" height="290" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" title="NPR embedded audio player">
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Our next two contestants are hilarious performers, writers and good friends, Mike Albo and Amanda Duarte. Hello.


MIKE ALBO: Hey. Hi there.

EISENBERG: So, Amanda, the last time I saw you, you were on stage at Joe's Pub because you had a residency there doing a show. And then I was looking forward to your next show.

DUARTE: So was I, Ophira.


DUARTE: You mean the one that was supposed to open four days after the whole city was locked down?

COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: Now, I know, of course, you were disappointed, but I just wonder - four days before a show, I'm just getting into the mindset.

DUARTE: (Laughter) I know exactly what you're going to say, and you're totally right. You know the first thing I did was grabbed a big bag of potato chips. I was like, I don't have to starve myself anymore. No - went deep into the comfort zone.


EISENBERG: Yeah. Now, I know also, Mike, that you perform every month at Joe's Pub. But I also know - I mean, I enjoyed a piece of your writing, "The Junket," over the course of this quarantine. It was like the perfect, delicious piece of writing for me...

ALBO: Well, thank you.

EISENBERG: ...That I read on - it was a Single, a Kindle Single.

ALBO: Yeah, Kindle Single.


EISENBERG: Kindle Single - fantastic. And it was very, very funny and heartwarming and hit all the right tones and also was a good escapism. But are you working on - you're working on a novel right now, right, Mike?

ALBO: I am.

EISENBERG: How's it going?

ALBO: I finished my first draft.

EISENBERG: That's amazing.

COULTON: Congratulations.

DUARTE: Yay, congrats. Yeah, guys, I have not written a single thing in 237 days.


DUARTE: Listen; I'm just trying to get through this. You know what I mean?


EISENBERG: Yes. I know exactly what you mean.

DUARTE: You know exactly what I mean.

EISENBERG: Excellent. OK, we have a couple of games for you. Want to play a game?


ALBO: How fun.

EISENBERG: So we're going to play you a clip of a television character's outgoing answering machine or voicemail message.

All right, Amanda, this first one is for you.


EISENBERG: Sometimes it's not a good idea to have your buddies move in with you, particularly not this one.


DAVID SCHWIMMER: (As Ross Geller) We will, we will, call you back.


DUARTE: Is it called "Friends"?

EISENBERG: It is called "Friends."

ALBO: Wow.

EISENBERG: That was Ross Geller.

DUARTE: (Singing) I'll be there for you.

Oh, wait; if I sing that, do they get money?


EISENBERG: You know what? They're doing great.

DUARTE: They're doing OK. They're doing OK.

COULTON: All right, Mike, here is one for you. This clip features three voices, one of which you may recognize from this most recent season of "Fargo."


TICHINA ARNOLD: (As Rochelle) Hello. Thank you for calling. No one is available to take your call right now. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep, and we'll get back to you as quickly as possible.

IMANI HAKIM: (As Tonya) But what if we don't want to get back to someone as quickly as possible?

CHRIS ROCK: (As narrator) It means you're a girl.


ARNOLD: (As Rochelle) Be quiet. I'll do it again.


ALBO: Is it "Everybody Hates Chris"?


ALBO: Is it Chris Rock's show called "Everybody Hates Chris"?

COULTON: Yeah. That's right.



EISENBERG: All right, Amanda. Here's your next clip.



DONALD GLOVER: (As Troy Barnes) Hey, Abed. It's Troy. Meet you at the flagpole in...


UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: (As automated voice) If you are satisfied with your message, press one. To erase and rerecord...


GLOVER: (As Troy) Hey, Abed. It's Troy. Yo, I'll meet you at the flag pole in, like...


UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: (As automated voice) If you are satisfied with your message...


GLOVER: (As Troy, imitating Michael Jackson) Hey, Abed. It's Troy. Hee-hee.


UNIDENTIFIED PERSON: (As automated voice) If you are satisfied with your message...

DUARTE: Is that my future ex-husband, Donald Glover?

EISENBERG: Yes, it is.

COULTON: (Laughter).

DUARTE: OK. I'm really grateful for this opportunity to just say, Mr. Glover, Don, Donald, Don, if you are listening to this, I literally spent last night - I watched, like, four episodes of "Atlanta" last night. And I'm the slightly, you know, older woman that you met in a UCB Level 1 class about 17 years ago that...

COULTON: I'm sure he remembers, yeah.

DUARTE: ...I'm sure you have not been able to stop thinking about. And I wasn't single then, but I'm single now. So I'm sure if you contact NPR, they'll be able to connect you to me. And I'll make you very, very happy.

EISENBERG: (Laughter) That is correct.


COULTON: I have a feeling that that is going to work for you. I have a feeling that this is...

DUARTE: I really hope so, you know?

COULTON: Just made a love connection. All right, Mike, this is the last one. Leave a message for this snarky animated secret agent, if he ever lets you.


H JON BENJAMIN: (As Sterling Archer) Hello?

JESSICA WALTER: (As Malory Archer) Sterling?

BENJAMIN: (As Sterling Archer) Oh, man. Hold on. I got it.

WALTER: (As Malory Archer) Sterling, dear, it's me.

BENJAMIN: (As Sterling Archer) Hold on. Hold on.

WALTER: (As Malory Archer) Pick up, Sterling. Pick...

BENJAMIN: (As Sterling Archer) Hang on.


BENJAMIN: (As Sterling Archer) I got it.

WALTER: (As Malory Archer) Sterling?

BENJAMIN: (As Sterling Archer) Don't hang up.


BENJAMIN: (As Sterling Archer) Hello?

WALTER: (As Malory Archer) Sterling, it's...

BENJAMIN: (As Sterling Archer) Ha, elaborate voicemail hoax. Leave it.


COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

ALBO: Is this like that "BoJack Horseman" thing that I should watch all the time that no one ever tells me I should watch?

COULTON: Is this another show that I'm supposed to be watching that I'm not watching?


COULTON: 'Cause I'm tired of being told what to do. Yes. This is - what we're looking for is "Archer."

DUARTE: "Archer."

ALBO: Oh, OK. I heard about it. I heard it's good.

COULTON: Yeah, heard it's good, not going to watch it.


EISENBERG: All right. Great first game. I thought you guys did fabulous.


ALBO: Oh, good.

DUARTE: I do think we both did well. But if we had to decide a winner, who would that be, Ophira?

EISENBERG: (Laughter) That would be you, Amanda. Amanda won that.

DUARTE: Oh, that's great. Oh, wow. I mean, I don't really care. But I just wanted to, you know, write it down in my little book.


EISENBERG: After the break, Mike and Amanda will join me and Jonathan in a round of Fact Bag. And comedian Chelsea Handler joins us to talk about her new comedy special. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.

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