Jam Bands Richard Kind and Ray Ellin are treated to a music parody game where Jonathan Coulton plays songs by jam bands rewritten to be about fruits you could theoretically use to make jam.

Jam Bands

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All right. Are you - Richard and Ray, are you ready for another game?

RAY ELLIN: Yes, I am, please.

RICHARD KIND: Dear God, let this be harder. Let this be a harder (inaudible)...



EISENBERG: Jonathan is going to sing the clues in this game...

ELLIN: Oh, fun.

EISENBERG: ...Which is exciting.

KIND: Oh, I'm glad I sat up and heard that. OK, great.

EISENBERG: Yeah, it's called Jamming Out. It's called Jamming Out. And, you know, Ray, this might be your moment to pull way ahead.

ELLIN: This is my redemption game right here.

JONATHAN COULTON: Well, we'll see what happens. I'm going to play a song by a jam band but with the lyrics changed to make it about a kind of fruit. So all you have to do is tell me which fruit I am singing about, and you will get the point. If you want to show off, you can also tell me the song I'm parodying or the artist who made it famous. But that is not required. Really what we're looking for here is the fruit. All right, Richard, we're going to start with you.


ELLIN: Good.

COULTON: Here we go. (Singing) Well, the ripe fruits are the softest fruits. Can you please just wait a bit? When you bake a pie with these, be sure to remove the pits. Put it in a text for a bit of smut. Whoa, this emoji shows a human butt.

KIND: First of all, let me say, adorable, beautifully performed.

COULTON: Thank you.

KIND: If I'm wrong on this, I leave this podcast now. It's a peach.

COULTON: It's a peach. You are correct.

ELLIN: I knew that one.

COULTON: All right. And that was - of course, that was "Uncle John's Band" by the Grateful Dead.

ELLIN: Of course.

EISENBERG: Of course.

COULTON: The jam band of all jam bands. OK, Ray, this one is for you.

ELLIN: All right.

COULTON: (Singing) Melon to fill out a fruit salad, it's under-ripe now. A flavor typically quite pallid that no one likes now. It's also a Muppet who loves science, has a big head now. Beaker is a part of his alliance. And he says, meep-meep now.

ELLIN: The song is by - gosh, I know the lead singer's ex-girlfriend. Jesus.

COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: We find personally knowing people in our answers really messes with people's...

COULTON: It's really...

ELLIN: It really...


ELLIN: Well, the fruit, I - well, let's see. Where do I begin? It's a melon that shares a name with a scientist. Is it the Bill Nye fruit?


COULTON: This is the one when you're eating, you're like, man, I wish I had some cantaloupe instead, which you never.

ELLIN: Well, this can't be the honeydew because I love it.

COULTON: It is the honeydew.

KIND: The honeydew?

ELLIN: Really?


ELLIN: Honey, I love honeydew.

EISENBERG: (Laughter).

COULTON: No, really?

ELLIN: It's not pallid. It's - yes. It's magnificent.

KIND: As do I.


KIND: As do I.


KIND: And we're leaving in protest.

COULTON: (Laughter).

ELLIN: But the song - I know it's on the tip of my tongue, the artist and the song. "Two Princes" by Rebecca's ex-boyfriend.

COULTON: Who is in a band called "The Spin Doctors."


COULTON: All right. Richard, here's one for you.

(Singing) Adam and Eve living in their birthday suit. God said just one thing, please don't eat up that fruit. Was it red delicious that she ate that day? Or was it a Macintosh that tempted her to stray? When she finally took a chance, it's when they had to put on pants.

KIND: My parents have passed away, and they would guess this fruit today.

COULTON: (Laughter) Today, now.

KIND: Today. Today they would. It's an apple.

COULTON: It is an apple. That is correct.

KIND: It's an apple.

ELLIN: And that was sung by Hootie & The Blowfish.

COULTON: It's a Hootie & The Blowfish song. That's right.

ELLIN: Yeah. And the lead singer, Darius Rucker, I met him at a Knicks game.


ELLIN: Lovely fellow.

EISENBERG: I can't wait to hear how you know this last clue.

COULTON: (Laughter).

EISENBERG: I can't wait.

COULTON: And I should say, yeah, that was Hootie & The Blowfish, and "Only Wanna Be With You" is the song.

ELLIN: Yeah.

COULTON: OK, Ray. This is the last question.

ELLIN: All right.

COULTON: That is for you.

(Singing) It's a fruit not a veggie. Yeah, we use it like veggie. Pickle's a fruit not a veggie. Yeah, they have many seeds. I don't care. It's not a veggie 'cause some slices on my eyes are all I need.

ELLIN: I was going to guess tomato. But then at the end, when you said you put them on your eyes, I would say cucumber.

COULTON: Cucumber is correct.


COULTON: Actually a fruit, the cucumber.

ELLIN: Who sings that - this song?

KIND: (Singing) Like a black magic woman.



COULTON: That's right. Santana.

ELLIN: Santana, of course. No, I just knew (inaudible)

COULTON: Of course. Yeah, of course.

ELLIN: Of course, Santana did.

COULTON: Ray, personal connection to Santana...

EISENBERG: Yeah, please.

COULTON: ...Or we're all going to be disappointed.

ELLIN: Santana was on "The David Letterman Show" when I did the audience warm up when I filled in for a week doing the...

COULTON: There it is.

ELLIN: ...Warm up on the Letterman show.

KIND: And I used to play mahjong with the whole gang...


KIND: ...So there you go.

ELLIN: Is Carlos a good mahjong player?

KIND: Very good. One bam, two crack. He loved it.


EISENBERG: Oh, thank you so much. Ray Ellin is a comedian, executive producer of Comedy Central's "This Week At The Comedy Cellar" and host virtual comedy shows on the website Comedy Cloud. And you've seen Richard Kind in basically every good show on television, every movie you love and voicing every animated character that lives in your heart. Thank you so much. Thank you, Ray.

KIND: Thank you, guys.

ELLIN: Thank you, both.

KIND: I had a very fun day.

ELLIN: So much fun.


EISENBERG: After a media time out, we'll be back with former pro-football-player-turned actor Nnamdi Asomugha. He'll play a game about one of his favorite things - Christmas movies. I'm Ophira Eisenberg, and this is ASK ME ANOTHER from NPR.


COULTON: Remember, your local public radio station makes it possible for us to make this show. If you can give, please consider supporting us and all of the NPR shows you love. Go to donate.npr.org/ama.


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