LIANE HANSEN, host:
From NPR News this is Weekend Edition. I'm Liane Hansen. And joining us is puzzle master Will Shortz. Hey, Will.
WILL SHORTZ: Hi, Liane.
HANSEN: (Singing) I know something about you today.
SHORTZ: What's that?
HANSEN: Oh, you know. But you did it a long time ago. But tonight on "The Simpsons," you and Merl Reagle are going to be guests.
SHORTZ: That's right. That's right. It's a real funny episode. Lisa gets caught up in crosswords, goes to a tournament. And there's going to be little cartoon Merls and me in there.
HANSEN: I cannot wait to see it. All right, but we have to get through our own puzzle before we get to watch you on "The Simpsons" tonight. So remind us of the challenge that you left last week.
SHORTZ: Yes. I said take the names of two animals, drop the third letter in each name, read the remaining letters in order from left to right, and you'll name a world capital. What is it?
HANSEN: What is it?
SHORTZ: Well, the animals are bear and lion. When you drop those letters, you get Berlin.
HANSEN: Wow! We received more than 2,000 correct entries for this one. And from those entries, we randomly selected Fern Zalin Jones of Valencia, California, to play on the air with us today. Hey, Fern.
Ms. FERN ZALIN JONES (Competition Winner): Hey, Liane.
HANSEN: How long did it take you to solve this puzzle?
Ms. JONES: This was a really quick one. I do them with my son, Hunter(ph). And first we said London and then said no, no, no. And he said, well, how about Germany? And I said Berlin. That's it, bear and lion.
HANSEN: Well done. How long have you been playing this puzzle?
Ms. JONES: I'm from the postcard days.
HANSEN: All right. So you've been submitting all this time, yeah?
Ms. JONES: Yes.
HANSEN: I understand in your office there's a running joke about this segment.
Ms. JONES: Every time I send in the puzzle, I tell my boss, Francesca, that when the phone rings at noon on Thursday, it's for me. It's going to be Liane calling.
(Soundbite of laughter)
HANSEN: And so the call came in after we picked your entry on Thursday and...
Ms. JONES: It really did.
HANSEN: Oh, that's so great. Well, I guess be careful what you wish for, right?
Ms. JONES: Exactly.
HANSEN: Are you ready to play?
Ms. JONES: I'm ready.
HANSEN: All right. Will, meet Fern. Let's play.
SHORTZ: All right, Fern. The letters S-B stand for seatbelt. They also stand for some other familiar two-word phrases. See if you can get them from the clues. Here's number one. A piece of furniture that opens up for sleeping.
Ms. JONES: A sofa bed.
SHORTZ: Right. Number two. An annual football showdown.
Ms. JONES: Super Bowl.
SHORTZ: That's right. It slows down cars in a parking lot.
Ms. JONES: Oh, a speed bump.
SHORTZ: That's right. Restaurant feature with lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, etcetera.
Ms. JONES: A salad bar.
SHORTZ: Aha. Military plane that's hard to detect.
Ms. JONES: A stealth bomber.
SHORTZ: That's right. What a very fast plane produces.
Ms. JONES: A sonic boom.
SHORTZ: Aha. Bit of someone's quote on the TV news.
Ms. JONES: A sound bite.
SHORTZ: Aha. A big, yellow vehicle.
Ms. JONES: A school bus.
SHORTZ: Aha. Standard feature of a fair and democratic election.
Ms. JONES: A secret ballot.
SHORTZ: Aha. Equipment at the World Cup.
Ms. JONES: A soccer ball.
SHORTZ: Aha. Victor at the Battle of Little Bighorn.
Ms. JONES: I was going to say the...
SHORTZ: It wasn't General Custer. It was...
Ms. JONES: Right. I know that. I'm just trying to think of - Liane?
HANSEN: Sitting Bull.
Ms. JONES: Oh!
SHORTZ: Sitting Bull. That's it. Good. Try this one. Bill Clinton's religious affiliation.
Ms. JONES: Southern Baptist.
SHORTZ: Aha. Item of camping equipment.
Ms. JONES: Sleeping bag.
SHORTZ: Aha. Portable advertising sign.
HANSEN: Something...
Ms. JONES: Some kind of billboard?
HANSEN: Yes.
SHORTZ: No, but board is right.
HANSEN: Some board? Yeah.
Ms. JONES: Oh, a sandwich board.
SHORTZ: Sandwich board. Good. Baseball hit designed to advance a base runner.
Ms. JONES: A stolen - no, a stolen base isn't right. I don't...
SHORTZ: So it's a hit that you design that you're going to be out yourself, but you're trying to advance a...
Ms. JONES: Oh, a sacrifice bunt.
SHORTZ: Sacrifice bunt is right. Shade of hair that's reddish-yellow.
Ms. JONES: Strawberry blonde.
SHORTZ: Good. Hospital on a ship. And they have this on the Enterprise on "Star Trek." Hospital on a ship.
Ms. JONES: Something bay?
SHORTZ: Yeah. What kind?
Ms. JONES: Sick bay.
SHORTZ: Sick bay is right. Good. And your last one is God.
Ms. JONES: Supreme being.
SHORTZ: Supreme being is right.
HANSEN: Fern, you're very good.
Ms. JONES: Thank you.
HANSEN: You're very good. You know, we spoke about Will appearing on "The Simpsons" this evening. So we thought it would be fun, Fern, in honor of this occasion, to ask a couple of "Simpsons" characters to tell you about the prizes that you're going to take home today.
Mr. HARRY SHEARER: (As Mr. Smithers) Go ahead, sir. They're rolling.
Mr. SHEARER: (As Mr. Burns) Yes, I know they're rolling. I'm taking my own sweet times for this. For playing our puzzle today, you'll get a Weekend Edition lapel pin. Hazah! That must have cost a nickel. The Eleventh Edition of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary and Thesaurus. Those are on remainder, I believe.
Mr. SHEARER: (As Mr. Smithers) Sir, sir, be nice. It's public radio.
Mr. SHEARER: (As Mr. Burns) Yes. I tried to buy it once. The Scrabble Deluxe Edition from Parker Brothers. I knew them when they were sisters. "The Puzzlemaster Presents" from Random House, volume two, Will Shortz's "Little Black Book of Sudoku" and "Black and White Book of Crosswords" from St. Martin's Press. I'm running out of breath, Smithers. Help.
Mr. SHEARER: (As Mr. Smithers) And one of Will Shortz's "Puzzlemaster Decks" of riddles and challenges from Chronicle Books. Well done, sir.
Mr. SHEARER: (As Mr. Burns) Thank you. Now, hook me up to the IV.
Mr. SHEARER: (As Mr. Smithers) Right away, sir.
HANSEN: Well, that was Mr. Burns and his personal assistant, Smithers. And there's one man, a funny man, who provides the voices for both of those characters, Harry Shearer. Harry Shearer also has a new satirical CD out called "Songs of the Bushman," and he has a radio show that's on, I think, a member station that you listen to Fern.
Ms. JONES: I listen to your show and then right after, Harry's on. So, yes, that's a big deal in our house.
HANSEN: Right, "Le Show." And it's on what public radio station?
Ms. JONES: KCRW.
HANSEN: And I also understand that you listen to KPCC in Pennsylvania.
Ms. JONES: I'm a member of both.
HANSEN: You're a member of both. Well done. So what do you think? You got Mr. Burns and Smithers to read those for you.
Ms. JONES: I'm absolutely star struck.
HANSEN: I am too. I'm still laughing. What did you think, Will?
SHORTZ: That was great.
(Soundbite of laughter)
HANSEN: I know. He's just so talented. Anyway - but Fern, it was a pleasure. Fern Zalin Jones of Valencia, California, thanks a lot for playing the puzzle with us. I mean, you were really great.
Ms. JONES: Thank you so much, Liane. Thank you so much, Will.
HANSEN: OK.
SHORTZ: Thanks, Fern.
HANSEN: OK, Will. In your own voice, what's the challenge for next week?
SHORTZ: Yes. Name a famous author whose last name starts with the letter C, as in Charles. Cross out four letters in it. The remaining letters in order will name another famous author also starting with C. Who is it? So again, a famous author. Last name starts with the letter C. Cross out four letters. The remaining letters in order will name another author starting with C. Who are these two writers?
HANSEN: When you have the answer, go to our website, npr.org/puzzle, and click on the "Submit Your Answer" link. Only one entry per person, please. Our deadline this week is Thursday, 3 p.m. Eastern time. Please include a phone number where we can reach you about that time. We'll call you if you are the winner, and you'll get to play puzzle on the air with the puzzle editor of The New York Times and Weekend Edition's puzzle master and guest star on tonight's episode of "The Simpsons," Will Shortz. Thanks a lot, Will.
Mr. SHORTZ: Thanks, Liane.
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