OPHIRA EISENBERG, HOST:
Our next two contestants are comedians Samantha Ruddy and Luke Mones. Welcome to ASK ME ANOTHER. Hello.
LUKE MONES: Hi.
SAMANTHA RUDDY: Hi.
EISENBERG: Hi. Hello to both of you. Now, Samantha - am I right? - I think in April I just saw this on your Instagram, that in April you had moved in with your girlfriend's employers.
EISENBERG: Basically, she is a nanny. And in order to allow her to keep working, you all moved in together.
RUDDY: Yes, we did do that.
EISENBERG: That must have been a bit of a - I'm going to say a trip. That's the word I'm going to use.
RUDDY: It was a trip. I actually - I love those kids so much. I have one of their artwork behind me.
EISENBERG: Oh, no way.
RUDDY: Yeah, my little friend Toby drew a picture of him, his brother and my girlfriend.
EISENBERG: That's really nice. And it's in your background.
RUDDY: Yeah, his mom's a huge NPR fan, so...
JONATHAN COULTON: Oh, nice.
EISENBERG: That's awesome.
MONES: I asked Samantha to hang some of my artwork, and she declined.
RUDDY: I said no.
EISENBERG: Luke, you know, your girlfriend, speaking of people that we are partnered up with - your girlfriend was a former contestant.
MONES: An alumnus.
EISENBERG: She's an alumnus, yes. Alyssa Limperis...
MONES: That's right.
EISENBERG: ...Was on, I think, like, back in May or something like that.
MONES: Yes. Some time in the haze of the past year...
MONES: ...Yeah, she was on.
EISENBERG: And did she give you some pointers? Any tips, tips of the trade?
MONES: She said stay alert. And - well, here's what she said.
COULTON: Stay alert.
MONES: She said stay alert, stay on your toes. She - I'm more of a trivia person than her. I sort of do the trivia in the relationship. And she is probably better at everything else.
MONES: So it's just - so she said, basically, just go be you.
EISENBERG: Yeah, yeah. I feel strong vibes that this is going to be perfect for you.
EISENBERG: Want to do some games, see what happens?
RUDDY: Absolutely. Let's do it.
MONES: Let's do it, yes.
EISENBERG: OK. So we have a word game for you. In this one, Jonathan and I are going to read sentences containing a bunch of different definitions for the same word. You just have to tell us the word.
COULTON: So if I said, I'm going to an elegant dance wearing a giant sphere-shaped dress, you would answer ball, since a ball is an elegant dance and a sphere.
EISENBERG: Right. You're going to be competing, playing against each other.
RUDDY: Oh, oh no.
MONES: You turned us against each other.
RUDDY: Luke is better at trivia, and I'm much better at everything else.
RUDDY: Going to be hard.
EISENBERG: It's all going to be great. OK, Samantha, this first one's for you.
EISENBERG: Super, super - like, just a - it's a nice, easy slide into the first one.
RUDDY: All right.
EISENBERG: Officer, I swear I don't know how the bottom of this tree and elephant trunk ended up in the butt of my car. I think I just totally said that wrong. Anyways, I'm going to say it again. Don't listen to what I just said.
RUDDY: OK, I'll forget it.
EISENBERG: Erase it. Here we go.
EISENBERG: Samantha. Officer, I swear, I don't know how the bottom of this tree and elephant nose ended up in the butt of my car.
EISENBERG: You were like, how many other words could there be?
RUDDY: I was like, tusk?
MONES: I was so confused.
RUDDY: I was so confused.
EISENBERG: I love it when I say, this first one's going to be easy, and then I just hand you the answer to make it harder.
RUDDY: I was like, is the answer in the question?
COULTON: We'll say a word, and then you say that word. That's the game.
EISENBERG: You've got to figure out what word in the question is the one we're thinking of.
COULTON: That's right.
COULTON: All right, Luke, here is one for you. Can't wait until the snow melts. I'm going to jump out of bed, push a slinky down the stairs and do a keg stand on a natural water source.
MONES: A spring.
COULTON: Spring. Yes, that is correct.
EISENBERG: And I was personally - because I purchased a Slinky for my son, but it's made out of plastic.
COULTON: Oh, yeah, the plastic ones.
MONES: Oh, no.
EISENBERG: Now, honestly, the next part was we have to get stairs. We don't have stairs.
RUDDY: That's so funny.
MONES: It's really a stairs toy.
RUDDY: For your third birthday, a Slinky; for your fourth birthday, a second floor.
EISENBERG: I felt so dumb about that. All right, Samantha - hard-hitting question for you.
EISENBERG: It's hard to sit still on this seat without a back on it because I really need to go No. 2.
EISENBERG: That's right. That's right.
COULTON: I love the gravity with which you guys navigated that question and answer. Congratulations.
RUDDY: Thank you. Thank you. I try to take everything seriously...
RUDDY: ...Even if it is a poop reference.
COULTON: Even if it's about poop.
EISENBERG: That's it. There's nothing more that needs to be said after that. It is perfect as it is.
COULTON: That doesn't bring up any stories, anything anybody wants to talk about?
MONES: Yes. I'd like to talk about poop for a little while, NPR.
EISENBERG: That reminds me...
RUDDY: Yeah. I was told we're not allowed to swear, but I do have a 25-minute story.
EISENBERG: Welcome to Colon Corner.
COULTON: (Laughter) Colon Corner.
MONES: The segment we're starting as contestants - as one-time contestants on the show.
RUDDY: It's like Car Talk.
COULTON: Yeah. It's like Car Talk but about poop. That's actually...
COULTON: It's not a terrible idea.
EISENBERG: That's a great idea.
RUDDY: You can have that, NPR.
COULTON: That's more of an APM kind of thing. OK.
COULTON: All right. This is for you, Luke. My favorite Pokemon trainer let his Charizard's tail get too close to a tree indigenous to the northern hemisphere, and it burnt down to cinders.
COULTON: Ash. Yes, exactly.
COULTON: I was laughing because halfway through that sentence, I had that feeling again where I was like, what am I talking about?
EISENBERG: You never got into the Pokemon, Jonathan Coulton?
COULTON: No, I was never into the Pokemon, even Pokemon Go because I saw people wandering around, endangering their lives, walking into traffic while looking at their phones. And I know how I am with games. And I was like, if I start doing this, I'm going to be hit by a car in a matter of minutes.
COULTON: So I better not.
RUDDY: Yeah, I had a near-death experience playing Pokemon Go, so now I'm a Digimon person.
COULTON: Yeah. That's much safer. That's much safer.
EISENBERG: Thank you. I'm glad. Near-death experience - you just almost walked into traffic?
RUDDY: Oh, yeah - had to get that Charmander.
RUDDY: Yeah, he was in the car. It was crazy.
EISENBERG: How'd you get in here?
RUDDY: He was driving. He was driving the car.
COULTON: That's what they should do. They should put Pokemon into cars so you actually - the game is you actually have to flag somebody down and get them to stop.
MONES: You have to hail a taxi.
EISENBERG: There he is.
EISENBERG: Great game. You both did - you slayed that game. Wonderful.
RUDDY: Thank you.
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