PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the Contact Us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. Also, check out our WAIT WAIT Instagram on Instagram, featuring the antics of our incredible intern Emma. I-Y-K-Y-K - Emma promises me that means something.
SAGAL: Hi, you're on. WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
LAUREN POTT: Hi. My name's Lauren Pott. And I'm from Long Beach, Calif.
SAGAL: Long Beach, Calif. - I lived briefly in Long Beach, Calif...
SAGAL: ...In Belmont Shore. What do you do there?
POTT: I'm a tattoo artist.
SAGAL: Oh, how awesome.
SAGAL: How many people are coming out of the pandemic - or I guess approaching the end of the pandemic - really wanting a tattoo?
POTT: Hordes of them. I mean, lots and lots.
POTT: Yeah. Yeah.
JOSH GONDELMAN: I feel like with the vaccine, this is, like, a big time for needles. So, like, people are - like, just - you go get one, and then you go right to the tattoo parlor because you're on a roll.
POTT: Yeah, you might as well.
SAGAL: Well, Lauren, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to play?
POTT: I was born ready.
SAGAL: I love this. I love the attitude. Here is your first limerick.
BILL KURTIS: My sheets are as crisp as they get. And there's no signs of mold as of yet. Before laundry's complete, I just take out the sheets. And I make up my bed while they're...
SAGAL: Yes, wet.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to a viral video on TikTok, which now apparently rules our lives, if you want your bed sheets to be extra crisp, you should put them on when they're still wet. You'll get that clean hotel bed look with the feel of spooning with a dead body.
KAREN CHEE: Oh.
SAGAL: The theory is, you put your sheets in the dryer for about five minutes,- just five minutes. And then you put your warm, damp sheets in the bed to air dry the rest of the way. That way, when your friends compliment you on how crisp and clean your bed looks, you say, thank you. I wet the bed.
GONDELMAN: This feels like a prank that Generation Z is playing on us olds.
SAGAL: Oh, we got you to drink that kombucha stuff. What you got next, you know?
MAZ JOBRANI: So wait, wait, wait. So I'm going to take it out almost dry, put it on the bed...
SAGAL: You're going to take it just - you're going to take it out while it's damp.
JOBRANI: While it's damp - I'm going to - and I'm going to go ahead and put it on the bed. I'm going to fit everything. And I'm going to walk away for a few hours.
SAGAL: Right. And then you're going to come back, and it will have dried in a lovely, crisp, clean-feeling way.
JOBRANI: I'm going to try this, Peter. And if I get in that bed, and it feels cold and wet...
JOBRANI: ...I'm going to call you, and I'm going to complain.
SAGAL: Look; it's not me. It's the lady on TikTok. Do not talk...
JOBRANI: All right.
SAGAL: ...To me about it.
CHEE: This is wild because my favorite part of laundry is, you know, when you're done and everything is drying, you just take it out. You immediately, like, throw it over yourself, and you're just showered in warm clothing. Do we all know what I'm talking about?
SAGAL: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So you do your laundry. Your laundry is now clean and warm.
CHEE: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
SAGAL: And you pick it up, and you throw it up in the air so it lands on you?
CHEE: Yes, yes.
GONDELMAN: You kind of Scrooge McDuck the laundry.
CHEE: Yes, yes.
SAGAL: Doesn't that mean you just threw your clean laundry on the floor and now you need to wash it again?
CHEE: Well, my floors are impeccably clean.
SAGAL: Of course.
SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.
KURTIS: As my bellies reach terminal girth, I make playlists for all that I'm worth. As I head into labor, it's Coldplay I favor. They're the best group to help me give...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Ed Sheeran, the Beatles and Coldplay are topping playlists that women play during childbirth. This is all according to a recent Spotify analysis - or rather, birth canal-ysis (ph). The list makes perfect sense. Crank up the Coldplay, and your baby is like, OK, I'm out of here.
SAGAL: Other artists on the list include Elton John and Adele. But come on. It could be anything. The only purpose of listening to music is to drown out your partner's pathetic attempts to help you. The No. 6 most popular song that women listen to while giving birth is "Here Comes The Sun" by the Beatles, closely followed by the B-side, "And Here Comes The Daughter. It's Twins."
JOBRANI: (Singing) Papa was a rolling stone.
JOBRANI: It's all about the dad leaving.
JOBRANI: Maybe you were a dart player.
SAGAL: You never know.
SAGAL: All right. Here is your last limerick.
KURTIS: What's in cereal? Let's just inspect this. Too much sugar; that seems rather reckless. Those sweet crunchy flakes are my day's first mistake. So instead, I'll eat pizza for...
SAGAL: Yes, pizza for breakfast.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: According to an actual accredited nutritionist, pizza is a better breakfast option than most cereals. This is crazy. I always thought I was choosing the most nutritious breakfast option while eating my mini chocolate chip waffles with marshmallow cereal.
SAGAL: According to a nutritionist, pizza has the same number of calories as a serving of cereal and milk. But it's much lower in sugar, higher in protein. And it's 900% easier to eat while walking down the street drunk. This has got to sting over at Kellogg's, who just got beat in a health contest by the food you have to dab with a napkin to get the grease off of.
GONDELMAN: This - I feel like this is a wrap for cereal, right? Like...
GONDELMAN: ...Once you know that, pizza's got it on every front. No one's ever been, like - Googling, like, oh, where's the best cereal in the city, you know what I mean?
GONDELMAN: All that cereal had was seeming better for you for breakfast than cold pizza.
SAGAL: Yeah. Nobody's ever arguing like, yeah, the cereal from my city is much better than the cereal from yours. Like, Chicago's - Chicago-style cereal - it's great. It's just a pound of cheese with milk poured on it.
CHEE: I would love if that was the fight between small suburbs. Big cities get pizza. And small suburbs - like, Littletown gets the best cereal.
GONDELMAN: You haven't had Frosted Flakes till you've had Frosted Flakes in Duluth.
SAGAL: Now, wait a minute. I happen to be from Shaker Heights, and our Frosted Flakes are second to none.
GONDELMAN: Are you kidding me? There's no flake. It's all frost.
JOBRANI: Have you ever had have thin-crust Frosted Flakes?
JOBRANI: The best.
SAGAL: Bill, how did Lauren do?
KURTIS: I want to see the tattoo for three in a row, Lauren - victory.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
POTT: Yay. Thank you so much.
SAGAL: Yay. Well done.
KURTIS: You were great.
SAGAL: Take care, and thanks so much for playing.
POTT: Thank you. Bye.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
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