'Wait Wait' for April 5, 2025: With Not My Job guest Sterling K. Brown
JENNIFER MILLS, BYLINE: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. Sailors beware. Resist the overwhelming urge to follow my gorgeous voice.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Stay away from me, sailors. I'm Bill Kurtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
(APPLAUSE)
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you so much, Bill. Thank you, everybody. You're very kind. It's great to see you. We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the great actor Sterling K. Brown, who's starring in the new series "Paradise." But if you are a fan of that handsome finance guy from "This Is Us," well, this is he. But right now, it's all about you. So give us a call to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!
ALEXIS BREITENEICHER: Hi, this is Alexis Breiteneicher calling from Cummington, Massachusetts.
SAGAL: Alexis, how are you?
BREITENEICHER: I'm doing very well. How about you?
SAGAL: I am fine. I don't know where Cummington is, and I applaud your ability to say it without hesitation or shyness.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You just said it. What do you do there in...
BREITENEICHER: Yes, I did...
SAGAL: What do you do there...
BREITENEICHER: ...Just say it.
SAGAL: You just said it. What do you do there in Cummington?
BREITENEICHER: So I'm the mom to 10-year-old twins, which is a thing.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BREITENEICHER: And I run a nonprofit that builds affordable housing and helps small businesses.
SAGAL: That's great.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: We're going to need all those things.
BREITENEICHER: We need all the things.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BREITENEICHER: Yeah (laughter).
SAGAL: Well, Alexis, let me introduce you to our panel today. First, he's a comedian who will be at the State Theatre down in Austin, Texas on April 17. He also writes the weekly newsletter That's Marvelous! It's Josh Gondelman.
JOSH GONDELMAN: Hello.
BREITENEICHER: Hi, Josh.
GONDELMAN: Thank you so much.
SAGAL: Next, she's a comedian and host of the podcast "Fake The Nation," who you can see performing at TED in Vancouver next week. It's Negin Farsad.
NEGIN FARSAD: Hello.
(APPLAUSE)
BREITENEICHER: Hi, Negin.
SAGAL: And making her debut on our panel, she's an Emmy and Grammy-nominated comedian and host of the podcast "Handsome." You can find all her upcoming live shows at tignotaro.com. That's right, it is Tig Notaro.
(APPLAUSE)
TIG NOTARO: From one twin mother...
SAGAL: Yeah.
NOTARO: ...To another.
SAGAL: Also a twin mother.
BREITENEICHER: Ooh.
SAGAL: Well, welcome to our show, Alexis. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize - any voice from our show that you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
BREITENEICHER: I'm ready.
SAGAL: All right. For your first quote, here is the president of the United States making a major announcement in the White House Rose Garden.
KURTIS: It's such an old-fashioned term but a beautiful term - groceries. It says a bag with different things in it.
SAGAL: That was President Trump on Wednesday explaining why he was slapping what on almost every other country on the globe?
BREITENEICHER: Oh, that would be tariffs.
SAGAL: It would be tariffs.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, April 2, which he christened "Liberation Day," President Trump announced the highest tariffs in history, and the world did not like it. The next day - Thursday - The Wall Street Journal actually ran out of words for how badly the stock market was tanking. It was like, Dow plunges. S&P 500 crumbles. The NASDAQ gets its junk stuck in a zipper.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I'm sure you guys celebrated "Liberation Day" in the manner of your own families and customs, right?
FARSAD: It's a traditional stuffed turkey in our home.
SAGAL: Sure.
FARSAD: Yes, absolutely.
GONDELMAN: I continued not paying my taxes.
NOTARO: And we have stuff tofurkey.
SAGAL: Yeah, of course.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Because you are a...
NOTARO: Lesbian.
SAGAL: Right.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now, this is true - this is absolutely true - the markets cratered so badly in the 24 hours after this tariff announcement that the world's 500 richest people - including, of course, Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk - lost a combined $200 billion in just one day. But...
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: But - wait a minute.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: That rules.
SAGAL: But there was also bad news.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: For example, the day after the tariffs were announced, the U.S. dollar became weaker than the euro, the British pound, the Australian dollar and those arcade tickets where you need 500 to get one Blow Pop.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: We are going to be running on a sticky hand-based economy soon.
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: I feel like, let's go harder with it.
SAGAL: Really?
FARSAD: And my view is let's bring them to the United States and let's start tariffing each other. So, it's like, if you're wearing cargo pants too many times a month, you're tariffed. You know what I mean?
SAGAL: Right.
FARSAD: There's a lot of behaviors I think we can control amongst ourselves.
GONDELMAN: Is that a fashion judgment on cargo pants, or are you just - because it has cargo in the name, it's now imports and exports?
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: Both, Josh. Both.
SAGAL: All right, Alexis, your next quote comes from legendary Chicago newscaster Bill Kurtis right before the great Topeka Tornado of 1966.
KURTIS: For God's sake, take cover.
SAGAL: That would be a lot harder for him to do now because, thanks to government cuts, what is about to become a lot less accurate?
BREITENEICHER: Weather reporting?
SAGAL: Weather forecasts. That's right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Thanks to cuts to the National Weather Service, weather forecasts are about to become a lot less accurate and useful. But think about it. Now, talking about the weather with your in-laws will be that much more exciting. Who knows what's going to happen? Part of the reason for these cuts is, people believe, to eventually privatize the weather forecasting industry. So if you want to know, say, if it's going to rain, OK, that's free. But if you want to know what it's going to be raining - water, men - then you need weather premium.
GONDELMAN: So it's to privatize, you're saying.
SAGAL: Pretty much.
GONDELMAN: Honestly, as a Jew, it's just so nice to hear someone else accused of wanting to own the weather.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: This is, like, a big really - I mean, bad for the country, but big for me personally.
SAGAL: Glad. Yes. Things will be so unpredictable that people will be betting on multiday forecast parlays on FanDuel. And, you know, but it might be fun to, like, engage in, like, the nostalgia for the days before we had, like, reliable scientific weather forecasts, right? We'll have to go back to peering at the horizon from the front porch of the ranch house and saying, Mama, get the cows in the basement.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: That is true. You know who's going to be so valuable? People with arthritic knees.
SAGAL: Yes, exactly.
GONDELMAN: That will be our only source of knowing when a storm's a-coming.
SAGAL: Yeah, that's a way for that guy to make up for the lack of Social Security. That'll be awesome.
NOTARO: But you can also just - the whole lick your finger. You know?
FARSAD: Oh, yeah.
NOTARO: Don't forget about that. It's very handy.
FARSAD: And I feel like...
GONDELMAN: We're going old school.
FARSAD: Yeah, and, like, I feel like weather vanes are going to have a real moment.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: And varicose veins as well.
SAGAL: Yeah.
NOTARO: I don't know what that means, but...
GONDELMAN: I'm putting all my money in veins after...
SAGAL: Yes.
GONDELMAN: ...The stock market is done crashing. We're really going to - the groundhog is going to take on so much more accordance (ph).
SAGAL: It really is true.
GONDELMAN: We're going to be like, I don't know. It's as good as anything else we got.
NOTARO: We have an overworked groundhog over here.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, Alexis. Your last quote is from DoorDash.
KURTIS: Buy now, pay later.
SAGAL: So you can now instantly take out a loan so you can afford to do what?
BREITENEICHER: Get takeout?
SAGAL: Yeah, order food delivery.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Klarna is a company - very good, yes. People are excited for you and for the possibility of going into lifelong debt for a sandwich. Klarna is a company that lets you buy things online. Usually, like, expensive items like clothing maybe or electronics. And you buy it on credit, and then you pay it back in installments. But now they are partnering with DoorDash - the food delivery company - for all of you who have ever said, you know, this burrito is great, but I just wish it affected my credit score.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: See, I feel like this isn't new. There are many things that I have ordered and eaten that I paid for later.
SAGAL: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I - although I hope it wasn't...
NOTARO: In many installments.
SAGAL: I was about to say I hope it wasn't in month...
NOTARO: No.
SAGAL: I hope it wasn't in monthly installments 'cause that would just go on too long.
GONDELMAN: There goes Tig again, talking about her vegan food poisoning.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So - but...
NOTARO: Or someone trying to poison a lesbian.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But I...
NOTARO: But they're so cute.
SAGAL: I want to advise people who are thinking of doing this. Remember to pay it back, 'cause you do not want to be the first person to get your legs broken 'cause you're behind on a breakfast bowl.
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: (Impersonating mafia) I'm here from DoorDash. They're very disappointed in you.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Alexis do on our quiz?
KURTIS: She did perfectly. She got them all right.
SAGAL: Well done.
(APPLAUSE)
BREITENEICHER: Thank you.
SAGAL: Thank you so much, Alexis. Take care.
BREITENEICHER: Thanks so much. Bye
SAGAL: Bye-bye.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SPECIAL DELIVERY")
MEGHAN TRAINOR: (Singing) Baby, I'm a special delivery just for you. To get your attention, I'm shining new. Baby, I'm a special delivery just for you.
SAGAL: Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Tig, this week, the New York Times offered their advice on how to navigate a tricky social situation when you go to see your friend in a show, and then what happens?
NOTARO: You have to compliment them?
SAGAL: Exactly right.
NOTARO: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Yeah. The show is awful. Many of us have been there. You go to see your friend in some kind of show, you know, whether it's a play your friend is in, your coworker's improv show or your other coworker's improv show. And if the show isn't that great, what do you say to your friend when you see him after in the lobby, right?
NOTARO: I'll tell you exactly what I'd say.
SAGAL: I figured you guys would know. Go, Tig.
NOTARO: Yeah. If I go to see a band that is not great, what I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster, I will be like, man, you guys were rocking up there, which is true.
SAGAL: Right.
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
NOTARO: They were rocking.
SAGAL: Right.
NOTARO: And that way, I don't have to, like, really critique. I can just say I have eyeballs, and I saw you.
GONDELMAN: You just reaffirmed...
NOTARO: Yeah. Yeah.
GONDELMAN: ...The action they did, but with enthusiasm.
NOTARO: Right. I'm like, I saw you up there.
FARSAD: What if it's a comedian who sucked?
NOTARO: I'll be like, you were rocking up there.
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: I just lie and say that was a great show. Because I am a total coward.
GONDELMAN: But like...
SAGAL: Really?
GONDELMAN: ...What do you have to gain when your friend is, like, in a band that plays three times a year, and you're like, hey, I've got notes. Like, what are they...
NOTARO: Yeah.
GONDELMAN: What do you think they're going to do?
NOTARO: Take the notes.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: Because...
FARSAD: Implement them.
NOTARO: ...They only perform three times a year. Like, yeah. Yeah, maybe so.
SAGAL: Oh, here's one.
NOTARO: He is on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!
SAGAL: Yeah.
NOTARO: So...
GONDELMAN: He knows jazz.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "YOU'RE THE BEST")
JOE ESPOSITO: (Singing) You're the best around. Nothing's going to ever keep you down. You're the best around, and nothing going to ever keep you down.
SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists relive their teenage years in our Bluff The Listener game call. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Negin Farsad, Josh Gondelman and Tig Notaro. And here, again, is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. Right now, it is time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME! Bluff The Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air, or you can check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. That's @waitwaitnpr. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!
JASON LOUGHLIN: Hey, this is Jason Loughlin (ph), and I'm calling from Des Moines, Iowa.
SAGAL: Des Moines, Iowa.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Great place. What do you do there?
LOUGHLIN: You know what? I'm a recovering attorney. I - in a couple of days, I'm actually going to start in a master's program for mental health counseling...
SAGAL: Wow.
LOUGHLIN: ...At 50 years old.
SAGAL: What inspired you to leave the law and go into mental health counseling?
LOUGHLIN: You know, I - law, I think, drove me to counseling, and then counseling affirmed that being a lawyer is toxic.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I could have probably figured that out on my own, but it's nice to get it confirmed.
(LAUGHTER)
LOUGHLIN: Yeah.
SAGAL: It's nice to have you with us, Jason. You're going to play our game in which you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Jason's topic?
KURTIS: I feel like I'm 17 again.
SAGAL: This week, we read about something from your teenage years that has come back, and it's not your acne. Our panel is going to tell you something from the teenage years that adults are now fully embracing. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win the WAIT WAITer of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
LOUGHLIN: Absolutely.
SAGAL: I admire your spirit. Let's get started. First, let's hear from Josh Gondelman.
GONDELMAN: Park ranger Lou Reggiano (ph) was doing his usual rounds past Bemidji, Minnesota's famed make-out point, when he noticed something strange. Through steamed-up windows, he could see that the parked cars weren't full of teenagers but rather grown adults. Reggiano says he first became suspicious when he heard a passionate cry of, ow, my back, coming from...
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: ...A minivan. With recent economic instability taking a toll on their finances, many adults have moved back in with their parents, causing them to revert to adolescent habits for amorous encounters. My husband and I couldn't afford dinner out and a sitter, said a 29-year-old woman, so this is date night away from our toddler. And not that it's any of your business, but we're out here trying for a second child.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: Even more upset are local teens who have been left without anywhere to get busy. I wasn't that excited about college, but now I can't wait to go, said Jamison (ph), a local 17-year-old. All those student loans will be worth it if I can finally get to second base.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Adults forced to live at home again in Bemidji, Minnesota, making the best of it and driving their cars up to Lover's Lane to make out. Your next teenage throwback comes from Tig Notaro.
NOTARO: The typically quiet Boca Raton, Florida retirement community...
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: ...Sleepy Shores (ph) reported incidents of senior citizens mooning fellow residents.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: The events began before a wholesome pickleball game as the sun went down, or shall we say, the moon came up...
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: ...Last Tuesday. Myrtle Ashton (ph) and her longtime travel companion, Mildred Rauls (ph)...
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
NOTARO: ...Both 71, decided to revisit the mischievous and daring activity from their days of youth. The long-term, live-in roommates...
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: ...Began flashing their derrieres as speed walkers and golf cart drivers passed their court, causing shock but mostly utter joy by fellow neighbors. You don't have to be 19 to show 'em what you got, said Rose "The Streak" Bowman (ph)...
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: ...Ninety-four. Although there are mixed feelings amongst residents, Sleepy Shores has made it clear how they feel, as they started selling unisex underwear reading, over the moon for retirement.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: This story is still unfolding.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Residents of a retirement community in Florida...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Pick up their old teenage habit of mooning. Your last poll from pubescence comes from Negin Farsad.
FARSAD: The dental world is having a cultural moment. After years of Invisalign dominance, patients are finally getting hip to old-school braces. And not just any patients, adult patients. That's right, being a metal mouth isn't just for begrudging virgins with pimples anymore. Adults are saying goodbye to plastic mouth trays and clear brackets in favor of full industrial alloy chompers. We're also seeing reports of respected adults making their maws festive with colorful brace bands - green for St. Patrick's Day, red for Valentine's Day or Labor Day's famous Chartreuse.
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: Influencers such as Abbey Clancy and Charlie James (ph) and rappers like Lil Uzi - all names that mean nothing to an NPR audience...
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: ...Are showing off their bemetaled (ph) pie holes on social media. But as always, beware, if two metal mouths make out, they'll both pick up radio signals.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, so one of these things...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...From our teenage years has come back. Is it from Josh Gondelman, the town of Bemidji, Minnesota, where Lover's Lane has been taken over by adults who had to move in with their parents like they were still living there, so why not act that way, from Tig Notaro, a group of residents, starting with long-term roommates, in a retirement community in Florida who've decided to start mooning anybody who goes by, or from Negin Farsad, braces, the scourge of so many teenagers, being worn proudly by adults. Which of these is the real story of a teenage trend coming back?
LOUGHLIN: You know, all of those being so cringy, I feel a lot better about being a new student at 50 years old.
SAGAL: (Laughter) Why not?
(LAUGHTER)
LOUGHLIN: I've got to go with Tig and the mooning matriarch.
SAGAL: All right. Your choice, then, is Tig's story. Well, we spoke to someone who had covered this real story.
TRACY SWARTZ: I remember when I had braces in the eighth grade...
LOUGHLIN: No.
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
SWARTZ: ...And I definitely didn't want them.
SAGAL: That was Tracy Swartz, a journalist from the New York Post, who commented on the story about adults embracing braces.
LOUGHLIN: I just got some grill, so, apparently, I'm behind...
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Yeah. So you didn't win. However, you earned a point for Tig on her very first time on the show, which is very exciting for her.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Pretty cool. Thank you for that. And thank you so much for playing.
LOUGHLIN: This was awesome. Thank you. I appreciate it.
SAGAL: Thank you, and good luck in the new gig.
LOUGHLIN: Thank you, as well. Take care.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Bye-bye.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "AT SEVENTEEN")
JANIS IAN: (Singing) I learned the truth at 17 that love was meant for beauty queens.
SAGAL: And now the game where we ask really well-known people about things they don't know anything about. We call it Not My Job. Sterling K. Brown had been a working actor for 15 years or so when he became famous and won an Emmy for his performance in "The People v. O.J. Simpson." Since then, he's gone on to star in "This Is Us," as well as the movie "American Fiction," for which he was nominated for an Oscar. And now, "Paradise," a political thriller - or so you are led to believe. We believe we are thrilled to have him with us now. Sterling K. Brown, welcome to WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!
(CHEERING)
STERLING K BROWN: Thank you very much.
SAGAL: It's an absolute pleasure to talk to you. I've been a big fan for a while, as I am of your new show, "Paradise." But...
BROWN: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...There's a problem, which I'm sure you are aware of, which is that there is a big twist at the end of the first episode, and it would be bad if we discussed it. So the question is, you're out there like a good guy, promoting the show, which you should do. It's one that everyone should see. How have you been handling this? Like, you can't actually talk about, like, what's really going on on the show.
BROWN: It is a very similar experience to promoting "This Is Us."
SAGAL: Right.
BROWN: Because if - yeah. It's the same creator of the show, so I can say that Dan Fogelman created "This Is Us," created "Paradise" - very talented man, love him dearly. But the whole time when you're talking about "This Is Us," you're like, oh, it's a family drama, and it's got, you know, all the feels and all that kind of stuff. But if you know the end of the pilot, you're like, wait a minute, all these people are related? You know what I'm saying? Sorry if I ruined anything for people who haven't watched...
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: ..."This Is Us." It's been out for a really long time.
GONDELMAN: Oh, that's the us.
SAGAL: Oh, my God.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I didn't know who it was about. Yes, famously, I think I can talk about this - the pilot of "This Is Us," this family drama - you're having all these different characters. And then you find out at the very end that you've been watching in different timelines, and some of these characters are the parents of these other characters who are now grown into adults. How nice.
BROWN: Yeah.
SAGAL: So have you tried talking about what the twist in the new show "Paradise" is not? So, for example, it turns out that your character is James Marsden's grown son.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Whoa.
BROWN: That would be funny.
SAGAL: That would be. That would be. Have you come up with any tricks or like...
BROWN: Well, you know, to be the adult son of more white people, I think, would be going to the well...
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: It's definitely not that. I usually just try to talk about the things that I can. The president dies in the pilot. But most folks - and you see that in the preview.
SAGAL: Right, right. Yeah, yeah.
BROWN: And I can say that that's the tip of the iceberg.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Right. Yeah. So yeah. And...
GONDELMAN: And the whole audience is going, which president, though?
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: Right. The president in the show.
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: In the show, yeah. Everybody, calm down.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I have to ask you about another project you do.
BROWN: Sure.
SAGAL: You do - and I believe you're coming back and doing it again - a podcast with your wife, right?
BROWN: I do, indeed. My wife and I - Ryan Michelle Bathe - we do a podcast called "We Don't Always Agree," which pretty much...
SAGAL: Spoiler.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: Yeah, it describes most marriages. But we've been married - we just celebrated 19 years in March.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Mazel tov.
NOTARO: March what? I want to write this down.
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: So you had an episode where you talked about the fact that you did ayahuasca together, right?
BROWN: That is correct.
SAGAL: That is correct. Whose idea was that? And again, I mean, the podcast.
NOTARO: It was mine.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: So the podcast is my wife's idea. Ayahuasca was my idea. We're both what we like to call crunchy granola Black people.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: So we don't really fit in the box of, like, typical sort of things. Like, we like to do what they call white people stuffs.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: So...
GONDELMAN: You are on NPR right now.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I'm on NPR right now.
(APPLAUSE)
BROWN: That's good. That was really good. But the ayahuasca - we went to Costa Rica. It's one of the few licensed dispensaries of the medicine in the world. And I think we were interested in seeing - a friend of mine described it to me as it unlocks blind spots that you weren't aware that you had.
NOTARO: And can you share what your blind spots were, please?
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: The biggest blind spot in all...
NOTARO: Ooh.
BROWN: In all sincerity...
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
BROWN: ...Is that we all sort of delude ourselves into thinking that we have some degree of control over what happens next. And really, all we have control over is our response to what happens next.
SAGAL: Wow.
BROWN: That's probably the biggest takeaway.
SAGAL: You know what else is a way of finding out...
(APPLAUSE)
FARSAD: Nice.
NOTARO: Wow.
FARSAD: Write that down.
SAGAL: You know what else is a way of finding out you have no control about what happens? - is being on stage with Tig Notaro.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I want to ask you one more thing, which is...
BROWN: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...I love working actors, the guys who - and women who put in their time, and I love asking them about the odd jobs they might have done. Is it true that before getting into acting, you were an intern at the Federal Reserve?
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: Yeah, that's right. That's correct.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BROWN: I was an economics major when I was an undergrad, and I thought that that - being an intern at the Fed was going to be something that led to me doing some sort of investment banking thing, or what have you. And really, what it led me to, Pete, was knowing that I was bored to tears working at the Federal Reserve Bank.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really?
BROWN: I had to do something else. Yeah.
GONDELMAN: What - did anything interesting ever happen at the Federal Reserve Bank while you were working there?
BROWN: I'm sure lots of things, but I...
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
BROWN: ...Was very low level.
GONDELMAN: You're doing seminars that are like...
SAGAL: Do you ever...
GONDELMAN: ...Don't touch the money. Don't sniff the money.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: Something like that, basically.
SAGAL: Do you ever find yourself, you know, since, like, financial policy is so much in the news - whipping out, well, you know, as a former employee at the Federal Reserve, I can comment?
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: I try to comment as little as possible.
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Let me ask why.
BROWN: Most people don't want to hear from actors about most things, so I just try to stay in my lane for the most part.
SAGAL: Yeah. Said the guy with a podcast.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, Sterling K. Brown, it is a personal pleasure to be talking to you. And we have asked you here, in fact, to play...
BROWN: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...A game that this time we're calling...
KURTIS: A Retirement Paradise.
SAGAL: So your show, as we've discussed, is about a community called Paradise, very mysterious. So we're going...
BROWN: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...To ask you about a community that claims to be a paradise and isn't mysterious at all - Jimmy Buffett's Latitude Margaritaville retirement communities.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: Come on, now. Come on.
SAGAL: Answer two out of three questions about what sounds like, really, a terrific place to be, and you will win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Sterling K. Brown playing for?
KURTIS: Irene Chan (ph) of San Francisco, California.
SAGAL: All right.
(CHEERING)
BROWN: All right, Irene.
SAGAL: Here we go. Here's your first question. The Margaritaville retirement community calls itself your home in paradise. And down there, near the eastern coast of Florida, they offer a wide variety of amenities, including which of these? A, the hanger workshop, where residents are invited to, quote, "trick out" their golf carts; B, Jimmy Buffett karaoke, which happens every night; or C, a nude beach?
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: All right. I think if you're in a retirement community, you're not trying to drop trou.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: So then the first one was tricking out the golf cart.
SAGAL: Right.
BROWN: It is Florida. It's golf courses.
(APPLAUSE)
BROWN: That seems like it's going be the answer.
SAGAL: And it is. That's right. Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: They...
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: ...Like a lot of retirement communities...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Because they're sort of self-enclosed...
BROWN: Yes.
SAGAL: ...People ride around in golf carts instead of cars. And as you can imagine, drunken golf cart driving is a persistent problem down there. All right, here's your next question. You got one right. Let's go for two. Margaritaville...
BROWN: OK.
SAGAL: ...Prides itself on being a place where people, quote, "55 and better" can, quote, "grow old but not up," unquote. And that explains why their monthly newsletter once contained what exciting phrase? A, Burt (ph) took over the DJ booth for trap music night; B, party starts at 4 and ends when you pass out; or C, look at all the fun our residents had at the QVC watch party.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: This one, I'm believing B makes the most sense. The party starts at 4 and ends whenever.
SAGAL: You know...
BROWN: All right.
SAGAL: ...I'm pretty sure they might have said that at one time, but the one we saw was the fun at the QVC watch party. The line to get in...
FARSAD: Oh...
SAGAL: ...The QVC watch...
FARSAD: ...My God.
SAGAL: ...Party went down the block. Now, this is all right 'cause there's one more to go. If you get this right...
BROWN: Well...
SAGAL: ...You win everything.
BROWN: ...OK.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now, the founder, of course, was the late Jimmy Buffett, quite a remarkable guy with a remarkable career. And he found his musical success relatively late in life. In fact, after years of trying and failing to be successful in music, he was just about to quit it and go into what business, when he did finally have his first hit record. So, what was he going to be? A, a marijuana smuggler; B, he was going to go into private equity; or C, he was going to go into the Catholic priesthood?
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: A.
SAGAL: The audience is all yelling A, marijuana smuggler.
BROWN: A. They're saying - I hear.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BROWN: I hear, Chicago, loud and clear.
(LAUGHTER)
BROWN: I got to go with the crowd, baby. Let's go A.
SAGAL: Yes, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It is A.
NOTARO: Yay.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: He says that when he was living down in Florida and he was just about to buy a Boston Whaler to bring merchandise to the beach at night when his third album became a big hit. And the Jimmy Buffett we know and love was born. Bill, how did Sterling do in our quiz?
KURTIS: Two out of three - she (ph) reached paradise.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Sterling K. Brown is an Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning actor whose new show is "Paradise," which you can stream on Hulu now or catch it Mondays on ABC, starting April 7. Sterling K. Brown, what an absolute joy to talk to you.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Thank you so much for joining us.
(APPLAUSE)
BROWN: Thank you for your time.
SAGAL: You're the best.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "MARGARITAVILLE")
JIMMY BUFFETT: (Singing) Nibblin' on sponge cake, watchin' the sun bake.
SAGAL: In just a minute, if you're feeling tired, Bill might send you to jail. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! from NPR.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Negin Farsad and Tig Notaro. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. Thank you so much. In just a minute...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Bill opens a limerick aid stand in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Be careful, Bill, those limericks have been recalled for lim-steria (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Negin, this week, we learned about a new way stressed-out parents are letting off steam. It's a party where grown-ups go to be able to do what?
FARSAD: They, like, yell at, like, mannequins that are their children because you're not supposed to yell at your children. They get it out.
SAGAL: You're so close, I feel I have to give it to you. The answer is throw a tantrum.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
FARSAD: Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: Just like your kids.
FARSAD: Yeah.
SAGAL: Right? Right?
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: What parent of an out-of-control 2-year-old hasn't looked at the kid and thought, yeah, that's the vibe I want to be giving off?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The concept was described by a therapist in Australia. All right, I have to be honest - she is described as a, quote, "life coach and breathworker." I just didn't want you to hate her yet.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: She calls it a, quote, "tantrum party," and it's exactly what it sounds like. There's loud music. There's pillows to hit and an adult in the corner saying, oh, he never does this.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's...
FARSAD: Yeah. Also, do - at some point, do the - does someone just give you an iPad...
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: ...To just shut it down?
SAGAL: Yeah, I know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Josh, this week, The New York Times ran a piece in favor of doing what to strangers in public?
GONDELMAN: Oh, good question. Well, it's New York, so it sounds like it should be ignore them. But is it talking to them?
SAGAL: Actually, it's the opposite. It's what they're doing when they're talking, and you think they shouldn't be.
GONDELMAN: Shushing them?
SAGAL: Shushing them, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Shush people in public. That's the advice. The columnist says that shushing someone, once only reserved for babies, libraries and bars that look like libraries, is a socially acceptable thing to do.
GONDELMAN: I would never shush a stranger.
NOTARO: Yeah.
GONDELMAN: A stranger could be stabbing me in public, and I wouldn't be, like, keep it down.
SAGAL: Right. You're like, no, no, just express yourself.
GONDELMAN: Yeah.
NOTARO: What if they were shushing you 'cause they were stabbing you?
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: But shh - just...
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: I always thought it was odd how - I know you're supposed to be quiet in a library, but...
SAGAL: Yeah.
NOTARO: ...I always thought it was odd, like, if you talk, that people are so on edge, and they're just like, shh. You know, like, they can't...
SAGAL: They can't focus if somebody else is...
NOTARO: Yeah, at all, if they hear any word. But if you're, like, out and about or on a subway, reading, people aren't freaking out.
SAGAL: Yeah.
NOTARO: But if you're in a library, shh.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The best solution, really, is if you're in a situation where people are talking...
FARSAD: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...And they shouldn't be talking is to quiet them the way you might quiet a baby - pick them up and wrap them really tightly in a blanket.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now, the writer says...
NOTARO: Swaddling.
SAGAL: Yes, swaddle - swaddle a stranger. The writer says, having been...
GONDELMAN: I donated so much money to that charity last year...
PETER SAGAL AND JOSH GONDELMAN: Swaddle a Stranger.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Josh, question for you.
GONDELMAN: Oh, boy.
SAGAL: Josh...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Josh, this week, a boob-loved chain restaurant filed...
GONDELMAN: Oh.
SAGAL: ...For bankruptcy. What's the restaurant?
GONDELMAN: Hooters.
SAGAL: Yes, Hooters.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Hooters. It's a sad day for Hooters, America's No. 1 restaurant cited in divorce proceedings.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The - they struggled since the pandemic, but the final blow came, of course, with President Trump's 25% tariffs on big old knockers.
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: But I've never been to one. Have you guys been? Have you guys...
SAGAL: I have - I can say this in all honesty. I've never been to a Hooters.
GONDELMAN: I've been...
NOTARO: Josh.
GONDELMAN: I've been to one.
SAGAL: Yeah. I mean...
FARSAD: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...I go to strip clubs all the time, but Hooters, no.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: Yeah, 'cause you're a grown-up.
SAGAL: Exactly.
GONDELMAN: You're not like, what would a Mormon's idea of a strip club be?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The CEO of Hooters says that they're going to...
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
NOTARO: There's a CEO of Hooters?
SAGAL: There's a CEO.
GONDELMAN: He's that cartoon wolf that goes, awooga.
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: He has an MBA (laughter).
NOTARO: That's - that doesn't seem possible.
SAGAL: A master's in breast administration. That's his MBA.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The CEO of Hooters says they'll be rebranding to a more family-friendly concept, a process he calls - and this is true - re-Hooterization.
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: What would make Hooters a family brand? Is it that, like, you see the Hooters, but this time, they're breastfeeding?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah.
NOTARO: The whole time?
FARSAD: Yeah.
GONDELMAN: It's just...
FARSAD: It's just breastfeeding, the entire restaurant.
NOTARO: Table service is so slow.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: Sorry, I'm breastfeeding.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can catch us most weeks at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, or you can come see us on the road. We'll be at the Merrill Auditorium in Portland, Maine, on June 26th and 27th. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!
SHARON COLEMAN: Hi. It's Sharon Coleman (ph), calling from Stanardsville, Virginia.
SAGAL: Stanardsville, Virginia. OK. And what do you do there?
COLEMAN: I work in the pharmaceutical biotech industry.
SAGAL: So when you work in the pharmaceutical industry, I've always wondered - do you get all the free samples you want?
COLEMAN: No, not really.
SAGAL: No?
COLEMAN: No.
SAGAL: Do you get all the free samples you can steal without people seeing?
(LAUGHTER)
COLEMAN: No (laughter).
SAGAL: Sharon, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis right here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Ready to go?
COLEMAN: Yep, I'm ready.
SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.
KURTIS: You officials, and also my veep, must adjust the late hours you keep. 10 a.m. is the time. Don't nod off. That's a crime. In my cabinet, don't fall...
COLEMAN: Asleep?
SAGAL: Asleep.
KURTIS: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: That's right. This week, the president of Zambia warned his cabinet he will consider it a serious crime if they continue to fall asleep during their meetings. Well, what do you do when you start every one of your meetings with a ceremonial glass of warm milk? In a press conference that included a surprising amount of the word conking, the president said he had tried many times to address the issue in private with his ministers. Unfortunately, they didn't hear him because they were asleep. As a compromise, it will only be a misdemeanor if you do that thing when your head starts nodding and you snap back up at the last instant.
FARSAD: Do they need to look at their sleep hygiene as a cabinet, or does he go on and on? Like...
SAGAL: Well, he says it's not his fault. He's very interesting, but that...
FARSAD: Sure.
SAGAL: He says the problem is that the ministers are going out all night clubbing. That's true. That's what he says.
FARSAD: Every time before a cabinet meeting?
SAGAL: Yeah. Like, they're out clubbing, and they come to the cabinet meeting at, like, 10 a.m. the next morning, and they all fall asleep when he's talking. It's obviously not him.
FARSAD: Yeah, Zambia is hopping.
SAGAL: It is.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, here is your next limerick.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: His great rise hasn't gone to his head. He's still filled with whole wheat, yeast and dread. And on German TV, he expresses ennui. He is burned, the depressed loaf of...
COLEMAN: Bread?
SAGAL: Yes, bread.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Germans are celebrating the 25th anniversary of a beloved children's TV character - a loaf of bread with clinical depression.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's the kind of thing that makes you say, oh, so that's why Germans are like that. The character's name is Bernd das Brot. And he's a TV presenter who is depressed because he didn't land his dream job - the mascot for a bakery's ad campaign. Man, when he finds out what happens to loaves of bread after the bakery sells them, he's going to be even more depressed.
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: Aw.
SAGAL: Aw.
GONDELMAN: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Did you just - did we just get an aw 'cause people eat bread?
(LAUGHTER)
GONDELMAN: Even the vegans among us are not upset about that.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, here's your last limerick.
KURTIS: On the floor, where the atmosphere is thinning, we faced north when the meal was beginning. Lift my fork to my mouth, now my view's looking south, 'cause we dine while the restaurant is...
NOTARO: Hooters?
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: Hey, good guess.
SAGAL: Good guess. Good guess. Rhymes with thinning and beginning.
NOTARO: And...
SAGAL: You faced north, and then we faced south, and then, presumably, you'd face north again.
COLEMAN: Winning? I don't know.
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: Aww.
COLEMAN: Oh.
SAGAL: Oh.
KURTIS: Did you say it? Well, you've already won, so I'll give it to you. The answer was spinning. Spinning.
COLEMAN: Spinning. Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The New York Times reports revolving restaurants are coming back, so now a whole new generation can experience the joy of saying, oh, yeah, I think I went to one of those once. These include The View Restaurant in Times Square, which does a full rotation every 45 minutes. It's great. I've been there. And I always say it's not truly fine dining if I'm not completely disoriented when I leave the bathroom.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And similar restaurants are reopening around the country, most with names reflecting the gimmick. There's La Ronde in Honolulu, Changing Scene in Rochester, New York, and, right here in Chicago, Ol' Spinny's Bucket of Twirls (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: I need to write that down.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, if you're here for another day, you definitely want to stop by Ol' Spinny's. Bill, how did Sharon do in our quiz?
KURTIS: Did well. Two out of three is a win for you, Sharon. Good work.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Congratulations. Thanks for playing and take care.
COLEMAN: Thank you.
SAGAL: Bye-bye.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "RIGHT ROUND (FEAT. KESHA)")
FLO RIDA: (Singing) You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down, down.
KESHA: (Singing) You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down, down.
SAGAL: Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
KURTIS: Sure can. Negin has one. Tig and Josh each have three.
SAGAL: Oh, my goodness.
FARSAD: What? How am I sucking so bad?
(LAUGHTER)
FARSAD: All right.
SAGAL: Negin, you're in third place. You're going to go first. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, the longest speech in Senate history was completed by Blank.
FARSAD: Cory Booker.
SAGAL: Right. On Monday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The White House began another wave of blanks, affecting employees at U.S. health agencies.
FARSAD: Layoffs.
SAGAL: Right. On Monday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The astronauts who were stuck in the Blank spoke publicly for the first time.
FARSAD: International Space Station.
SAGAL: Right. On Wednesday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The CDC warned that cases of whooping blank were on the rise throughout the country.
FARSAD: Cough.
SAGAL: Right. This week...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...An AI recipe generator was flagged after it posted a recipe for blank.
FARSAD: Biscuits?
SAGAL: No. Cyanide ice cream.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And also, quote, "actual cocaine." On Tuesday, teachers at a high school in Virginia said they saw notable grade increases after enforcing a blank ban.
FARSAD: Phone ban.
SAGAL: Cellphone ban. Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Known for his roles in "Top Gun," "Batman Forever" and "Top Secret!," actor Blank passed away at the age of 65.
FARSAD: Val Kilmer.
SAGAL: Right. This week...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...A man in Texas who broke into a car dealership was caught after...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...He blanked.
FARSAD: Fell asleep in the car he was stealing.
SAGAL: No, he called police 'cause he couldn't figure out how to get out of the building.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Police say there was actually several unlocked doors the man could have gone through. Reports also say the only thing he managed to steal was a handful of candy. And even worse, he somehow ended up paying an extra $700 for undercoating.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, I think Negin did pretty well.
KURTIS: Very well. Six right. Twelve more, and that gives her 13 and the lead.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right, Josh, I'm arbitrarily picking you to go next. So, here we go. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, despite over $20 million in spending by Elon Musk, the liberal candidate won the Supreme Court election in Blank.
GONDELMAN: Wisconsin.
SAGAL: Right. On Monday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...The DOJ directed prosecutors to seek the death penalty against Blank.
GONDELMAN: Luigi Mangione.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, Italy said it would tighten regulations after a huge increase in people applying for blank.
GONDELMAN: Citizenship?
SAGAL: Right. For...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: In a first for women's sports, South Carolina coach Dawn Staley blanked after making the Final Four for a second straight year.
GONDELMAN: Celebrated?
SAGAL: She celebrated by - specifically by signing a baby's butt.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: On Monday, Mexico banned the sale of sweet treats in all of the blanks.
GONDELMAN: Bakeries?
SAGAL: No. Schools. On Wednesday, the Switch 2...
FARSAD: Close.
SAGAL: ...Was announced - the latest gaming system from Blank.
GONDELMAN: Nintendo.
SAGAL: Right. This week, a British man on his way to...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...A soccer game who noticed papers littering the street...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Quickly discovered they were blank.
GONDELMAN: Wanted posters for him?
SAGAL: No, top secret documents about British troop movements.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The papers included details about patrol routes, weapons checks, and even included soldiers' names and phone numbers. It's like top British military officials heard about the U.S. group chat and were like, hey, hold my room-temperature beer.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Josh do in our quiz?
KURTIS: Pretty good. Four right, eight more points. Total of 11, is in second place.
SAGAL: All right.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: So Tig's already been very impressive. How many does she need to win in her debut appearance on our show?
NOTARO: One.
KURTIS: Five to tie, six to win.
SAGAL: All right, Tig, this is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, a federal judge dismissed the case against New York Mayor Blank.
NOTARO: Eric Adams?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the FAA confirmed the creation of stress-managing teams to help blanks deal with understaffing issues.
NOTARO: People.
SAGAL: Yes. Specifically air traffic controllers, though. On Monday, an iceberg the size of Chicago broke off an ice shelf in blank.
NOTARO: Water.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The Antarctic. This week, a high-speed chase in Nashville ended when officers caught the car they were pursuing when its driver blanked.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: Stopped.
SAGAL: Yes. I'm going to give it to you. Specifically...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...He stopped at a gas station to put more air in his tires. On Wednesday, the Queen Mary 2 was forced to end its cruise early after almost 250 passengers caught blank.
NOTARO: Diarrhea.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Norovirus. According to new data, getting the blank vaccine could protect against dementia.
NOTARO: Shingles.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a flight from LA to Shanghai had...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...To turn around mid-trip because blank forgot their passport.
NOTARO: Pilot.
SAGAL: That's right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Two hours into the flight, the 275 passengers heard the pilot's, quote, "very frustrated voice" on the intercom announce they were turning around because he had forgotten his passport. The flight resumed six hours behind schedule. But...
NOTARO: Oh, my God.
SAGAL: ...Don't worry, passengers were awarded food vouchers worth up to $30. Just enough to buy one egg to throw at the pilot.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: Did diarrhea count as norovirus?
SAGAL: Norovirus. I don't know. I think - I don't know if you can...
UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: Yeah.
SAGAL: They want it to.
GONDELMAN: Give the people what they want.
SAGAL AND GONDELMAN: Diarrhea.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So, Bill, using your best judgment, did Tig Notaro do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Well, for a rookie, she did great. Four right, eight more points, total of 11. That means our champ is Negin Farsad.
(CHEERING)
FARSAD: Oh, I...
SAGAL: You see?
FARSAD: ...Came up from behind.
SAGAL: You did.
FARSAD: Oh, my God.
(APPLAUSE)
FARSAD: In both of your faces.
SAGAL: Yes.
GONDELMAN: Both of us?
NOTARO: Yeah, that was really low.
(LAUGHTER)
NOTARO: Ouch.
SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going ask our panelists, now that we have "Liberation Day," what'll be the next new holiday?
Now, panel, what will be the next new holiday? Negin Farsad.
FARSAD: National Thank You Note Writing Day, where you write all the thank you notes you haven't done your whole life.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Josh Gondelman.
GONDELMAN: Daniel Day-Lewis Day, which you prepare for by spending 364 previous days living as a calendar.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And Tig Notaro.
NOTARO: Measles Schmeasles Day.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: And if any of that happens...
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: ...We'll ask you about it on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill Kurtis.
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Thanks also to Josh Gondelman, Negin Farsad and our new rookie Tig Notaro. Thanks...
FARSAD: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...To all of you here at the Studebaker Theater and anywhere you are for listening. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)
SAGAL: This is NPR.
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